I've started to realize that my future is coming at me a lot faster than expected and that perhaps I wasn't ready-- but that doesn't matter.
Life changes so quickly and sometimes we're not ready for it and that is perfectly OK. I've spent the past year digging myself out of a hole I thought was burying me alive and today I find myself watching the better half of me blooming from the roots I swore were holding me down.
As time continues ticking and my future comes closer, I find myself reflecting on all the lessons I've learned and all the lessons I will soon learn as well. All the memories that were made, the tears that were shed, the laughter that was created, and the moments that have taught me more than I could have imagined, are the things that have made me into who I am today.
This article is dedicated to the people that have helped me grow into a better person, to better myself to a healthier individual, laugh a little harder, to live a little more freely, and of course, love a little more boldly. This article is dedicated to all the progress I have achieved and the many more stepping stones I still have to cross-- there is always room for learning.
For those who need love,
I used to think love was a simple four letter word that was gussied up in ribbons and bows that we threw around with no intent to actually mean it. That it was just a meaningless word that was always used without a single thought.
That I was able to go to a thrift shop and pick it off the shelves for 99 cents and that I was able to box it up and send it to someone else with a Hallmark card attached to it. I used to think love was what was found in the arms of a toxic lover who would come and go like the wind as if the only way to hear the word "love" was to break my heart and give them the better half.
I didn't think twice to even notice that love can be found in the eyes of a stranger who opens the door for you as you waltz through the front of a building or even in the voices of your friends as they tell you to get some rest after a long day. I forgot that there's love laced throughout my household as I come home from wherever and find my parents making food as they're dancing around in one another's arms.
I forgot that there's love in the trees as they soak up the sun and love in the wind as it kisses the side of my cheek. There's love in the sound of music blaring from my best friend's guitar and there's love being shared throughout every building that greets you with a smile. There is love all around the world, but most importantly, I have found that there is love within myself. For so long I have been scared to give and receive love but I have learned that if you are afraid that every cloud will bring rain you will never step outside and plant your crops. I have learned to love myself, the people around me, and just about anything you can see, feel, and hear. Doing so, of course, I have sought out and found love in some of the most unexpected places, and man, it is the most rewarding feeling.
Love can be found no matter where you are or what is going on. It is at an IHOP at 3 a.m. as you and your friends are holding onto your sides laughing while eating chicken tenders, at the top of a mountain in the early depths of the morning, in the parking lot of a Meijers as you shovel spoonfuls of Moose Tracks ice cream into your mouth when you were on a strict diet, and it is laced throughout your car as it's pulled over at a ran down rest stop and you find yourself having a deep and meaningful conversation with the ones you love most. Love can be found in the sights you wouldn't have imagined seeing without taking little risks and it can be found in the memories you had no plans in making but decided to be a little more spontaneous. Love can be found in the eyes of a stranger, a loved one, the nature around you, a materialistic object, and more. It can be found in some of your greater moments, and of course, the bitter ones as well.
If I had to pick any sentence in the world that has helped me find love in the most difficult times it would be, that above all else, to always look for humanity. The world can be so cruel that we tend to forget to see the better half of what's going on. Sometimes the negativity can consume us and can start to change how we behave. However, instead of being overcome with evil, you should overcome evil with good. Find the best of a situation, understand someone's perspective, communicate well to one another, and do not forget to love. Always let love be known.
For those who find themselves worrisome,
Worry is such an evil thing. In my life, I have found plenty of things to worry about. There's always the issue of money, school, work, medical reasonings, friends, family, and more to worry about. What will you wear, what will you eat, how will you get here or there? Life changes so quickly and can easily throw a curve ball towards your way and sometimes we never know how to handle it besides worrying. However, what I've learned is that there's so much more to life than clothes, money, and all of that. Life is more important than anything materialistic. Do not borrow tomorrow's worry, each day has enough on its own. Focusing on what's going on today and taking things one step at a time is very important because you can find yourself less overwhelmed and see the picture a little more clearly. Life is too short to be full of worry, taking things as they come and handling it just one day at a time can be very beneficiary. I have found that the answer to most of my solutions is easily laying in the first step rather than the seventh step.
When it comes to the clothes I wear, how I present myself, and how I lived, I have learned from one of my great friends that comparison is the thief of joy. I used to envy others all the time and it never did anything but deflate my self-confidence. I always strived for more and was never happy with what I owned. I always wanted to be like the girl with thousands of followers on social media, the one who had money, style, and who appeared to have everything they wanted, who had a nice car, went to a great college, and had everything figured out in their life (or well, appeared to). I remember trying to change myself into someone I wasn't and doing the things they did in life, and let me tell you when you get to know a person you used to envy so much, their life isn't as perfect as you thought it was. Every human being has flaws and struggles, they are not all perfect-- in fact, no one is. Why compare yourself to another individual who has just as many flaws as yourself when you can love what you have and be satisfied with how things are? There is so much more to life than what you eat, wear, and how you live. Give yourself some grace-- love yourself for what you have and who you are. You can admire what another person has, but do not place them on a higher pedestal than needed. Just be yourself.
For those who feel lost,
It is easy to forget where you're heading and where you came from. Sometimes the end goal can look a little fuzzy and appears as if you're just walking forward with a blind eye. Some days it can feel like any progress you made has done nothing for you, and that instead of taking two steps forward you feel as if you're only taking five steps back. Never forget where you came from and where you used to be. Even if you are taking two steps forward and five steps back you are still moving forward. Remember that tracking progress is important--a year would never pass if we never kept track of the days.
For those who are afraid,
Life can definitely be scary. As I've said previously, life can change so quickly that some days we won't even know how to handle it. Some of us can be so paralyzed by the thought of "what if" that we don't live to the best of our ability. I was always afraid of letting people down, embarrassing myself, not doing enough, not being enough, and many more. I've been reading a book lately called Love Does by Bob Goff, and one of the sentences that stood out to me the most seems to be what I've been living by lately.
"I used to be afraid of falling at the things I've loved most, but now I fear to succeed in the things that matter less."
We never know where life can take us, but sometimes the unpredictability of life can be comforting in a way. We never know what tomorrow will bring, and besides, we're never promised tomorrow anyways. Why let fear stand in the way? Do not wait. Take risks and be spontaneous. As one of my friends have told me before, "you should only regret the times where you could've been kinder or wiser." People can do foolish things while they are young, but do not let being rude be one of them. Be kind.
Always ask how someone is doing. Whether it be a retail worker, a server, your family, friends, or just a stranger passing by, it never hurts, and if anything, it makes a person feel more like a human than anything less. Communication is important. Listen. It is always free to lend a listening ear. You can learn so much about a person-- and even yourself in the process. Tell a cheesy joke and laugh more; laugh often. Never jump to conclusions and find yourself consumed with anger, try to see where the person is coming from and try to understand how a person is feeling. Remember to be sympathetic and empathetic-- but to an extent. Remember that you can't, and don't have to, fix everyone you meet. Sometimes just walking beside them on their own journey is more than enough.
Remember that you will take two steps forward and three steps back. You will fall down and get right back up. Get your heart broken, fix it, and break it again. Fix it, mend it, love it, and leave it at that. You will find happiness in the smallest things and remember to live life as if it is your last. Ask how people are doing and make them laugh in the progress-- just remember to make yourself laugh as well. Never worry about tomorrow as each day has enough worries as is and never compare yourself to anyone else. Always be patient and take things one day at a time, remember how far you've come and the progress you've made. The slightest progress is always enough.
Above all else, remember to love. Love yourself and one another and always look for humanity in the dimmest of places. Let your love be known and let your love be heard. Love. Love. Love.
As this is the last and final article I will write, for now, I would like to thank everyone who has accompanied me on this journey of self-love. You have seen the darkest parts of my life slowly become enlightened and I am beyond grateful for it all. If there is anything to take from any of my words, and as cliche as it is, it is that life truly gets better. Remember to love, because there will be days where you feel as if there is none left in the world. Be the voice you wanted to hear.
