Oh, the things that I would say to the sixteen-year-old me, or the eighteen-year-old me. I would even love to sit down and talk to the girl that was me just last year.
The past few years I was focused on one thing and that was myself. And because of that I lost a lot of friends and made poor life decisions thinking that this was the best possible life I could live. Little did I know that was far from the best.
The past few months have given me hope and a fresh breath of air.
The things I would say to the younger version of me… First, life gets better and easier. The more you build up walls around yourself and your heart, the harder you make it on yourself. Don’t focus on how many times you can drink in a week, how many people you can impress, or what people think about you. You’re just a kid looking for your place in this world and impressing people around you is not how you do it. When the devil is telling you that you can’t keep going or you’re not smart enough for that school or dream: tell him that you are. Don’t let the lies and deception bring you down from your dreams and happiness. When you are left with impossible expectations, don’t get frustrated. You will work through it.
To the younger version of me… God uses the broken to build His armies. You are the daughter of an almighty King. Don’t let the weak people try to tell you or use you in such a way that doesn’t paint that same image.
The difference in now…
To those of you that know me, you can say that this semester has been a roller coaster. This semester I decided to quit listening to the things of this world and to listen to my Creator. Yes, I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. But the God that I serve forgives and covers me in His grace. I will live seeking his abundance of love and joy that is there for me no matter my past or the baggage that I have. In my own little world, it’s not about me anymore, its about showing the love of Christ and keeping my focus on Him and the future. As Psalm 39: 7 says, “Where should I go now Lord, My Hope is in You!” This verse is how I choose to live. I have put my trust in Him and I can say that I know the life that I want to live.
To the younger version of me…. Hold on tight! The best has yet to come. You are going to do great things, so never settle. People will talk regardless if they agree with your choices or not. Life’s happiest moments are those of laughter and memories with those that you love. Stay true to yourself and never let anyone try to define who you are by the things of this world.
To the younger version of me… you made it. You’d be proud of the twenty-year-old that you once dreamed about. I will make mistakes and I will fall short but my heart has never been fuller or happier. There is no one better in your own little world than me both years ago and now. Don’t try to be anyone else. God made you just the way you are. Now that you’ve found yourself, never lose sight.
