To the Stanford rape survivor,

I only wish I knew your name so that I wouldn’t have to refer to you as “the Stanford rape survivor.” You are so much more than that and you deserve so much more than that. But, I also refuse to refer to you as “the Stanford rape victim” because you are not a victim. You are a survivor. You were a victim of rape on the night of your attack, but every day since then you have been a survivor. Your letter proves that you are a survivor.

I wanted to thank you. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for being a role model, not only for other survivors of sexual assault but also for men and women everywhere.

Thank you for displaying courage, hope, grace, and love throughout your ordeal. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this has been for you.

Thank you for writing that letter. A letter so powerful, and so profound that it will forever be engrained in its readers’ minds. A letter that forces its readers to stop and think. This stopping and thinking might prevent an act of sexual assault, save a life, or both. So thank you.

I also wanted to apologize, on behalf of those who haven’t and will not apologize to you.

I’m sorry that the justice system failed you. I’m sorry that despite the heinous crimes committed against you, your attacker was sentenced to six months -- three if he displays “good behavior.” I’m sorry that this sentence, well below the minimum suggested sentence, was delivered by a judge who is a former Stanford athlete. And I’m sorry that his ties to the athletic program at Stanford were not viewed as a “conflict of interest.”

I’m sorry that your attacker views alcohol as an excuse for his actions. I’m sorry that he blames “party culture” and the “pressure to drink” as some sort of twisted justification for his actions. They are not, nothing is.

I’m sorry for the ignorance that your attacker’s father displayed in his statements. His lack of knowledge and humanity both frighten and disgust me as they should for any human being with a conscience and a heart.

I’m sorry that people know more about your attacker’s swim achievements than they know about the events that happened that night or the lack of accountability that he demonstrated with his court statements. I’m sorry that, for months, the picture used to accompany any article pertaining to the investigation or the trial was his college swim photo. I’m sorry that some people choose to see him as a promising just “misguided” athlete rather than a rapist.

Most of all, I’m sorry that you had to go through this. I’m sorry that you have been invaded by a monster. I’m sorry that your skin felt unbearable. I’m sorry that you felt alone. I’m sorry that you felt ashamed. I’m sorry that you felt scared. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Sincerely,
Every man, woman, and child who loves you and supports you.