A Note To The Single Girl In Her 20s

Let me start by admitting that for a while now I’ve gone back and forth with the idea of writing this note, but here we are. Usually, these notes start with something along the lines of “you see all of your friends getting married and you wish it was you…” but I don’t feel like addressing that. Let me first start by saying that there is nothing wrong with being single in your 20s, despite what you might have heard from others and what you’ve been telling yourself. There is also nothing wrong with your friend who is getting married in her 20s. One life stage is not better than the other.

I know you don’t hear this often enough, but go you for everything that you are doing in your life since you aren’t dating someone right now. Maybe you have chosen to spend more time in this stage of your life focusing on your career (or planning for your career), or focusing on school, or getting more involved in a specific organization or club, or maybe you are spending more time with your friends. You have chosen to use your “extra” time to focus on other aspects of your life and even though other people don’t see what all you’ve been doing, that doesn’t negate it.

You haven’t been on a date in quite a few months, but in that time you got a really cool internship, met new people and strengthened friendships, and had time to focus on things that are unique to you. And you know what? That’s really great! Stop letting the little comments other people make about your love life take away from what you’ve accomplished or made growth in. Be proud of what you have done, grateful for this time in your life, and comfortable with who you are. Don’t spend the entirety of this time wishing it away because you have a lot of freedom in your decisions and time that you might not have later on in your life.

Don’t feel like you’re not good enough or that you aren’t where you are supposed to be at this point in your life because you are single in your 20s; dating or not dating doesn’t determine your success, worth, or accomplishments. I’m not saying you need to turn into an anti-boy scrooge who is obsessed with her career and is swearing off dating for the rest of her life, but also don’t try to be someone who is obsessed with finding “the one” right now and hates being single. Be content with where you are right now: take chances, enjoy being young and the freedom that comes with that, and be excited about where you’re going.