A Note To The Single Girl In Her 20s

A Note To The Single Girl In Her 20s

Be proud of what you have done, grateful for this time in your life, and comfortable with who you are.
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Let me start by admitting that for a while now I’ve gone back and forth with the idea of writing this note, but here we are. Usually, these notes start with something along the lines of “you see all of your friends getting married and you wish it was you…” but I don’t feel like addressing that. Let me first start by saying that there is nothing wrong with being single in your 20s, despite what you might have heard from others and what you’ve been telling yourself. There is also nothing wrong with your friend who is getting married in her 20s. One life stage is not better than the other.

I know you don’t hear this often enough, but go you for everything that you are doing in your life since you aren’t dating someone right now. Maybe you have chosen to spend more time in this stage of your life focusing on your career (or planning for your career), or focusing on school, or getting more involved in a specific organization or club, or maybe you are spending more time with your friends. You have chosen to use your “extra” time to focus on other aspects of your life and even though other people don’t see what all you’ve been doing, that doesn’t negate it.

You haven’t been on a date in quite a few months, but in that time you got a really cool internship, met new people and strengthened friendships, and had time to focus on things that are unique to you. And you know what? That’s really great! Stop letting the little comments other people make about your love life take away from what you’ve accomplished or made growth in. Be proud of what you have done, grateful for this time in your life, and comfortable with who you are. Don’t spend the entirety of this time wishing it away because you have a lot of freedom in your decisions and time that you might not have later on in your life.

Don’t feel like you’re not good enough or that you aren’t where you are supposed to be at this point in your life because you are single in your 20s; dating or not dating doesn’t determine your success, worth, or accomplishments. I’m not saying you need to turn into an anti-boy scrooge who is obsessed with her career and is swearing off dating for the rest of her life, but also don’t try to be someone who is obsessed with finding “the one” right now and hates being single. Be content with where you are right now: take chances, enjoy being young and the freedom that comes with that, and be excited about where you’re going.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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To The Ex Who Won’t Move On, It’s Time To Let Go

Moving on is hard, but it’s time for you to realize I’m gone.

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It's been a year. It's been 365 days since I left you. I was ready for a change. Our relationship was unhealthy and very toxic. We argued constantly. You were very controlling, and it was time to end it. You knew you were the issue in the relationship and you knew what needed to be fixed.

You couldn't change.

After figuring out I couldn't live the rest of my life unhappy, I left. It was hard no doubt. We had good memories, but the bad outweighed the good. You never appreciated me. You weren't loyal to me and I never understand why. You always made me feel as if I was never enough.

I finally left you. You couldn't accept the fact that I was done. I told you I discovered my self-worth and you were angry. You didn't want to see me go. You called and texted me for weeks.

I ignored you.

You were so mad because I was finally done. You had convinced yourself that I would come back but little did you know, I wouldn't. You called and texted daily. You even called my job. You didn't understand. I could no longer listen to ongoing insults and constant accusations. I had enough of it.

When I didn't respond to your calls and texts, you began using text apps and calling me from restricted. You wouldn't stop. When you found out I moved on, it got worse. I begged you to stop and you wouldn't. I finally stopped responding. You still continue to try to contact me.

I need you to move on. I want to put everything behind us. I want you to go out and find someone to make you happy. I need you to realize you and I are over. I want you to move on like I did. I am happy now and I don't need you ruining that. To my ex who is struggling to move on, it's time to let go and move on.

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