To The Pretty Girl, You're Just What They Want

To The Pretty Girl, You're Just What They Want

A pretty face in a crowd is a dime-a-dozen....

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To the pretty face,

You are the pretty one. Trust me I know. People walk by, their heads turn. You give them a smile and move along. But as you continue they don't turn around, they don't ask for a date. They won't see what's within. They just see your pretty face. And nothing more.

They won't see your kind heart and warm soul. They won't see you, talk to the person who looks lonely in the grocery store. They won't see you give the shirt off your back to help someone. They won't see the good that you do. They won't see you talk to your best friend tonight. They just see that pretty face. The men especially. They bet how long it will take. To get that stunning girl in their bed. They talk, they make you feel different, they make you feel special. Then they try and guess what they succeeded. Then they leave. It's a bet you see? You don't because you're broken. Ever so broken. To be loved, you had wished. To be held. You can't get passed the feeling of being broken and hurt every damn time. Because a pretty face is all that they see.

They won't even care what's within. You think he was your next prince charming, to sweep you off your feet. But he was the next to break your heart. You lay awake most nights, scared. Asking questions; Will I be loved? Will I ever get commitment? Probably not because it's just a pretty face they see. Nothing more and nothing less. You feel a standard is needed to be held. Dress like that, makeup has to always be done. Don't you ever dare let them see the blemishes, the flaws, the insecurities You will get hurt. They don't want you. They never do. What will the next guy hold? A quick and go? A forever? I will never know. Does he really want me? Or what is between my legs. To know what is behind your shattered heart? Because all he sees is a pretty face.

Maybe you will learn quicker than I did honey. That they just want the pretty face. One day you'll realize and you will run faster than your legs can take you. One day the walls will come down, and they will see more than your pretty face.

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7 Coping Mechanisms For Living With Body Image Issues

Love yourself the best way you know.

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You may be thinking, here we go again. It's probably going to be another cliche post about how important loving yourself and your body is. Well, you're absolutely right. At the end of the day, we are given one body, so you might as well learn to accept it. This article is mainly targeted towards those struggling with body image issues, but I think we can all take something from it.

1. Create healthy, obtainable goals for yourself.

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You should start small, as building new habits don’t come naturally. We all have an idea in our heads of where we want to be, but slow and steady wins the race. You should allow yourself to create a check-list to follow and stick to it. By having a set schedule, you will become more inclined to follow it and therefore, reach your end goal.

2. Give yourself room to make mistakes.

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-forgive-yourself-and-other/

We might think we know it all, but there’s only room to learn and grow. If you give yourself these unrealistic standards, you’ll be more likely to crash and burn. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. Humans are an imperfect species so you must give yourself time to adjust.

3. Give yourself cheat days.

So you're out to dinner with your friends and they order the “Bloomin' Onion" as an appetizer for the table. Everything in you wants to resist, but you give in. Don't beat yourself up for it, you've earned it. It's not the end of the world, you can still meet your end goals and allow yourself some cheat days. If you've created a strict work out and diet plan to follow, you should implement the occasional cheat day. Completely writing out sweets from your diet will make it THAT much harder to stay consistent. So go ahead and eat that “Bloomin' Onion."

4. Limit your time on social media.

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Our lives are practically in these little devices that we carry around with us. I even bring my phone with me to go to the bathroom. I'm not saying completely delete all social media platforms off of your phone, but the occasional break is good for your health. I fall victim to comparing myself to instagram models on the daily. As intruiging as Kim Kardashian is, I don't have her lifestyle. I wake up, go to school, and study my little heart away. My reality is much different from hers, and that’s the cold hard facts.

5. Stop fixating on things you hate about yourself.

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If you’re anything at all like me, I could sit in the mirror for hours picking out little things I absolutely hate about myself. Those stretch marks, beauty marks, sun spots, and premature wrinkles are not a deal breaker, I promise. If anything, they’re unique to your body and add personality. Sometimes when I sit down I get self concisous about my stomach rolls. These things are all completely natural, so we should try to embrace them. If I find myself staring in the mirror for too long, I envision this monster in the mirror. I can guarantee, no one else is as hypercritical as you are. I mean, would you point out your friends “imperfections?” No. So why talk to yourself like you’re your own worst enemy. Try changing your mindset and picking out parts of yourself you love, and focus on those.

6. Change is possible.

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If your doctor has a concern about your weight, it’s between you two. I promise you, the difference between a small and a medium doesn’t change the person. It is no ones business but you and your doctors. If this number raises a concern to your doctor, then you can take the proper steps to change this. Implementing new eating habits and a workout routine might be the best route. It’s all possible, and happens over time.

7. Acceptance.

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The number you see on the scale does not make the person. It’s easy to get lost in the world of social media and compare yourself to others. At the end of the day, we have to learn to accept the body we have been given. It may not happen over night, but I promise once you do accept yourself, no one can tear you down. I’m still learning myself, and that’s okay.

No one said it would be easy. Every day is another chance to change for the better. Unlearn that negative mindset. Instead, replace it with healthy thoughts. It's okay to struggle, but it is not okay to give up on yourself. Relapses don't erase progress. Progress is not linear!

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I Channeled My Insecurities Into My Painting Final, A Series About Body Image

I haven't felt so proud and connected to something I've made in a really long time.

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I've written about my struggle to stay fit in college. Despite my best efforts, which I'll admit at times we're just mediocre efforts, there were still those inevitable pounds I gained when I moved away to live at college. The first semester hit hard with all the eating out, drinking, and even all you can eat dining halls. I didn't realize what an impact it was making on my body and therefore my self-esteem. I've always had a really great relationship with my body, food, and health. But by the time I came home for winter break, that confidence started to waver.

Going into the second semester I set my mind to change this, and going into summer I am definitely happier with where I'm at. As the end of the semester approached, I had to do a huge painting series for my final project, that was not only touching on what I'd learned in my first year of painting but the direction I want to go as an artist. I had been struggling to think of a way to incorporate all my thoughts and feelings into the series while finding a theme that I cared about and related to.

After weeks of thinking about it, I realized the concept wasn't going to be something I dreamed up one day, but a part of my life that I had to pour into these paintings. I wanted to channel these thoughts about body image and self-confidence or lack thereof into my work.

The series depicts a girl pensively looking in the mirror, both in baggy clothing and a little black dress, with a second figure looking over her shoulder, representing her subconscious. I spent more time in the studio than ever before working on these, not only because I was driven to make my work look great from a technical standpoint, but it was a topic I was passionate about. I used some reference photos of my friend for the pieces, but really it is more of a self-portrait.

Channeling these insecurities into my painting made me realize that we care so much about our bodies and working out for all the wrong reasons. Staying healthy is so important, but it's not so much about the number on the scale. It took going through these changes with my body to realize that you have to exercise to feel good and happy, and the results will come after that. I haven't felt in such a good place with my body in a while, and I also haven't felt so proud and connected to something I've made in a really long time, both of which I attribute to hard work paying off.

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