I was recently reading an article on Odyssey called To The “Bestfriend” I Decided I Couldn’t Be Friends With Anymore, and something didn’t sit right with me. Everything felt too familiar- the good times, the bad, and everything in between. Everything that seemed too good to be in our “solid” friendship was just that.
Everything we thought would stay the same has changed and quite frankly, I don’t think we can be the people we used to be together, and this breaks my heart.
From both sides, I’ve experienced the heartbreak and tough decisions that come with friendships, and it’s just all too much to deal with. Things really don’t have to be this way.
What happened? I’m serious. What actually happened between us? One day, we’re sharing hilarious memories from our recent college experiences and the next I can’t even tell where you are or if you’re even doing okay.
I expected certain people to sideline themselves in my life- but not you. You’ve been around too long to watch me fail, succeed, and experience what life has to offer. How could you just leave without a goodbye?
Ever since we started school at a very young age, we were inseparable. I never had a memory (until college) that you weren’t by my side.
I understand distance makes it difficult when trying to keep any relationship strong, but you seem to not even want to be bothered with me anymore.
You don’t seem to have an issue ignoring me and replacing me with people who are changing you- changing us. As I sit here and write this, I think of the letter you wrote to me.
Filled with memories and experiences throughout more than a decade, my eyes fill with tears thinking about all that we’ve been through.
And it all hurts. It hurts much worse than any other boy, friend, family member, or person has. I no longer have that person in my life who I want to run to immediately and tell all of the funny things I’ve done, and vice versa. I still want to hear how you’re doing.
We all change. Each new stage in life presents new people, lifestyles, struggles, and cultures that we learn to adapt to and fit to our standards. It’s important to remember our core values and what makes each of us unique. I just feel like you’ve changed your core values and I just don’t understand why.
I guess I just miss the way things used to be. I miss not having to worry about if I care that you’re doing things without me, when I really do. I miss not being able to call you at 3 in the morning, knowing you’ll answer before the first ring even stops.
I miss the random texts and the funny stories. I miss hearing you say “oh yeah this reminded me of you today.”
I miss not having my person by my side. I miss my partner in crime. I’m thankful for all of the memories but I’m sad, hurt, and angry that it’s all that I have left.
In the blink of an eye, my life was severely altered. I just wish we could find a way to work through all of this and still be the care-free people we used to be- but that’s just not a possible reality.
