Surprise! Check your pulse, you're alive. You are young, you are living, you are breathing, you wake up every morning, go to bed every night and you are functioning fully in this chaotic world. Do not demise the value these things due to the fact that you are not in an "ideal place" (that's what we're going to call it for now). Do not demise the value of these things based on the girl you follow on Twitter just landed her ideal career. Do not demise the value of these things due to the fact that the boy you stalk on Facebook just moved far away for medical school or due to the fact that you see Elle Woods on "Legally Blonde" succeeding. Do not demise the value of these things due to the fact that this boy/girl/celebrity on TV, is not you.
I, myself, was the person who felt like if I didn't have my life together, if I didn't do what society saw as successful, if I didn't jump (when I could barely walk), then I was failing. I fell under this notion in my head that if I didn't completely uproot and change my life around post college/post high school/ post anything, that I was automatically going to be destined for failure. I lost myself in more ways than one by letting society depict my happiness. I fell under the pre conceived idea that if I didn't do things that society looked at as huge, I was never going to be successful. Let me tell you, in more ways than one, I was wrong.
Too often we fall under this idea that we have to do what everyone else around us is doing. I want to make a point of saying, if someone said the things I am saying in this article to me a year ago, or even if I came across this article a year ago, I wouldn't of even read it. I would've thought this was some girl who was just making excuses. But until I sat down one rainy weekend, and truly though about my life, I realized that sacrificing my happiness is just short changing myself. Here are a couple things I learned on this rainy weekend filled with lifetime changes, tears, confusion, regret, fear and a little bit of anger.
1. You are young.
Too often there is so much pressure on us that we have to have it all figured out. That at 18,19, or even 25, whatever you are doing then, you have to be content with doing for the rest of your life. Society makes it seem as if changing your career equals failing. Phrases such as "What are you going to do now?", "You wasted so much money on (insert other career here)", "Wow, why?", would haunt my brain daily. I had a plan, I had a path, I had goals but most importantly, I didn't want those goals. I didn't want that path. I didn't want that plan. I did that plan because it looked good, because society made me feel like I had to do it. And you can call me crazy, but I'm just an over thinker. I thought long and hard about this and knew to get out, before it was too late. And if I could have a huge talk with society, I'd slap them in the face before I even got the first couple words out due to the pressure they put on people my age. You can change your career post college, you can change your career mid college, you can change your career mid life, but make yourself happy first.
2. You can lose yourself.
One day you can wake up and you can just completely be lost. But the best thing about losing yourself, is that you find yourself along the way. You can think your headed in the right direction, and then lose yourself and realize you are completely wrong. It's okay not to be okay, its okay to fall apart. Again, you are still not failing.
3. Where in the rule book did I miss the part that said if you don't completely uproot your life, you won't be successful.
Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, never left his house until marriage. Steve Jobs did not travel half way across the country from his home, in order to be one of the highest paying CEO's in the world. How strange is this that society makes us believe that if you are not "going away", you aren't going to be successful. Don't get me wrong, if you have the opportunity, ability and desire to uproot your life, more power to you. But key word, desire. as long as that makes you happy. But to those of us who the mere thought of leaving home makes us want to vomit into a garbage can, you don't need to. Be a Steve Jobs. Somehow, without packing your childhood bedroom into bins and flying your car over stateliness, you still will have a successful career.
4. Do not let social media convince you not to love yourself, your career, your abilities or your life.
"It's just ... mom ... you see, all these people on Facebook are changing their lives and going to strange states and starting new, and I just feel like, I have a wonderful life here, I can't leave it. All of these people are happy in their careers, they're content, I want to switch mine, I feel crazy." These words I said to my mom when my feet were halfway jumping into a career I knew I would hate, halfway jumping into a new school because I felt I had to, and halfway trying to rush my life along because I have this ticking clock that I didn't know existed. Do not get stuck between trying to live your life and trying to run from it at the same time. Do what you want.
5. Do not do something because "you have to."
I'll tell you the things you definitely have to do to stay alive... Breathe. You need to breathe to stay alive. You don't have to do this right now because you are 22 and the opportunity is there. You don't have to sacrifice your happiness because society is telling you, this is the only way you'll be successful. You don't have to live someone else's life, because it seems to work for them. The girl next to you who seems to have it all together, may not have it all together. I say this based on experience. I was the girl who looked like she had it all together, but inside I cried everyday because I was so unhappy. What works for someone else doesn't have to work for you. YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT IN YOUR HEART.
6. Finally, get out of your own head.
I tried to convince myself everyday, that this was for me. This is what I wanted, right? I "needed" to do this. Don't fuel the demons in your head powered by societies images of different things. Stop trying to drown your demons because you are teaching them how to swim if you get stuck within the negativity within your own head. Plain and simple.
--Hang in there, it really is astonishing how short a time it can take for very wonderful things to happen.
Sincerely,
The girl who lost herself because she didn't come to terms with half these things for a long long time. Oh ... and the girl who FINALLY pulled a Frank Sinatra and did it her way.
