To whom this may concern,

If you are worried that you are annoying to your girlfriend or boyfriend, that feeling most of the time is not the case. Being in a new relationship myself, I feel as though I am bothering him sometimes, and when he doesn't answer me I assume that I had done something to make him upset with me. There are many things that you may feel annoying, but I wanted to take time to write this to say that it is OK.

One of the most common things I do that I feel bad about is constant messaging. Whether he is active and talking to me, or away doing something, I get paranoid that I am talking too much and bothering him. I know communication is needed to maintain a healthy relationship, but when I shoot ten short messages in a short period of time, I feel as if I am bothering who I am talking to whether it be a friend or my boyfriend. Even when the other person says it's okay, I can't help but feel as though I had gone and done something wrong. I want to say that it really is okay. Don't get anxious if they are not getting back to you right away. Sure it can make you feel anxious, but if they truly care about you, they will understand the messages and forgive you.

Another thing is sharing random things you find online with your best friend or significant other. Generally, many people love sharing pictures and tagging friends in them thinking that they will enjoy it. Most of the time people do. If you are worried that they might not like that then the best thing is to ask them; nothing is wrong with asking a question first. It also can be difficult when you first start out dating and you find something cute that is relationship related. If that is the case then don't share if you don't feel comfortable. The other person will understand, or not know at all. Seeing as this is a form of communication as well, it only makes sense that this is healthy for a relationship as well. Don't be afraid to share things, but just be careful.

One final thing I feel annoys my significant other that doesn't bother him is being close. Now I do not mean on top of him grinding into him, but just sitting beside him and holding hands. Cute little things like that are something that many people enjoy, but at first you can feel scared to ask. It is okay to ask questions for things like this. It is better to ask someone and get a no for an answer than reach for their hand and have the other person think that you are a creeper. You also could possibly give subtle hints to the other person. I personally like to bring my hand closer to the other person's slowly to see if they will pick up on what I am suggesting. If you feel like you need to be brave you go ahead and do just that.

Whether you are reading this as someone who just began a relationship or someone who has been in a long term one, I can guarantee that some of your fear of being annoying is not something you should be worrying about. They are with you because they care about you, and they will understand your anxiety. I know that it can be hard, but it does get better.

Sincerely,

A person who knows the feeling.