I've been told my whole life that college changes people.

And for a girl who's pretty much been the same person her whole life, I didn't want to believe it. Unfortunately I was forced into believing it when I saw my very best friend be someone he was not. Some things went down, and well we haven't really talked since.

Its probably one of the hardest things Ive ever been through, I almost feel as if I've lost him.

"one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do is grieve the loss of a person who is still alive"

Here's what I would want that person to know if I ever had the guts to speak to them again;

I am rooting for you, and there is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of you.

I know you are a good person, and I know you have such a bright future ahead of you. You are one of the smartest people I know, and one of the most fun too. I want you to go so far in life, I want you to conquer your dreams and do everything we have always talked about doing.

I find myself pointing out cars on the highway that are the same make and model as yours and laughing at the memory of all the places we've been, I will hear a song that reminds me of you and I promise youre all I think about the rest of the day, sometimes good thoughts, sometimes bad.. sorry I'm just being honest. When I go out with friends someone always ends up ordering a "sex on the beach" and every time my mind thinks back to you making fun of me for liking them, until you tasted it too and told me you ordered one the next time you went out.

I will never stop caring about you, but sometimes when I drive by your neighborhood I flip the bird, only if I'm by myself. Haha it really makes me feel better about the whole situation, sometimes a girl needs some comic relief.

There are things I will never forget about you, like your love music and the stars. I always thought the stars were cool, but you made me fall in love with them.

We talked about everything under the moon, and I hope you know those conversations mean the world to me. We would talk about everything from school and movies to family and God. I really thought I knew you better than anyone else, and I hate to admit it because everyone knows I don't like being wrong, but there is no way I did, I don't even think you knew yourself.

Even though I want you to be happy, and love life, I also hope you never forget about me. I hope memories of me burn in the back of your mind. I hope you see a blue elantra and think of me the way your car reminds me of you. I hope you miss me screaming country music at the top of my lungs and have moments where you sit and think about how much fun life was with me in it.

I just really hope you miss me the way I miss you. Because ill never come to terms with what happened, and even though I've been told I should hate you I don't, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and It doesn't mean I want to be back where we once were.

It just simply means that no matter who comes into my life, no matter where I go, and no matter how much time passes, I will never stop caring about you, wanting the best for you, and loving you. I will never forget the 5+ years you were my best friend and I will never forget you.