Love is a controversial topic. You believe you're in love based upon what people say love should be all about, but truly, that's not the case. Love is a feeling you get maybe once, twice if you're lucky. Real love is an excitement all in its own.

It is really hard to deal with the pain of loving somebody that doesn't love you back. I've dealt with this pain, and many others do. Whether it's the pain of of a first love, or somebody you've been dreaming about for years, the pain affects you in the same way. It bombards your mind with false thoughts and devastating feelings. Although you believed this person was your forever, they simply can not be. You WILL move on, and you WILL find people that are more like you than anyone else.

This is why I have come to write about the person that I couldn't bring myself to love. Somebody that, for the year we almost dated, treated me as if I were their world. The kind of guy that dream about in the movies. The guy that would never hurt you. The person that would stay committed to you for eternity.

So, to you, I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, because you were somebody that deserved more than I could ever give you.

I'm sorry for the actions that happened that we can not speak of any longer. We both screwed up in the worst of ways. Even when we both knew what each other had done was wrong, we both wanted to keep fighting for something that wasn't entirely there...

I'm sorry for the false feelings I had given you. On those lonely nights where we both needed somebody, a shoulder to cry on, I was the one there for you. Telling you the special three words, even though my love wasn't entirely there as your love was to me.

The regret of how I feel right now affects me every day. I wish there was something that I could say to change everything that happened, to change the underlying sadness we both feel. I am in pain every day from what we shared that I just couldn't feel back. And for that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I couldn't be your whole world like you intended. I'm sorry that we both have different paths in life that will bring us to where we deserve to be. I'm sorry that as we've grown apart, we haven't thought of each other as much as we have before.

You are special. I don't say this about many people, and from every moment I've shared with you, I've gotten to know your underlying secrets and beautiful personality. There will be a girl out there one day that will change your world and will bring you to love even deeper than you loved me.

As much as we've shared, the happiness and the sorrow, I know it will bring us to become even stronger than we were before.

I am still truly sorry about everything.