To the person having a little trouble growing up,

My birthday is in one and a half weeks. I will be turning 19 and for whatever reason, that feels very significant. Even though it isn't a milestone like hitting double digits, a sweet 16, or becoming legal, 19 feels like true adulthood and I have to say I have been having a bit of a crisis about it. Now don't roll your eyes, I know nineteen is still a part of the teen years technically but I feel so much pressure to get myself together. Once you move out on your own and you get to run your life there are so many responsibilities and things to figure out. It's hard to deal with the realities of work, higher education and just growing up. On the flip side, there is a lot of expectations that come with being my age. I constantly feel myself struggling to live up to my own and others expectations of a robust social life and a sunshiny outlook. Unlike my other articles, I don't actually have a solution to offer. I just wanted people to know that if they are having trouble adjusting and finding happiness in their next chapter, it is okay, you aren't alone and things will play out the way they are meant to. Everyday I beat myself up thinking I didn't check enough things off of an imaginary list I have in my head, a list of things a teenager should be doing. If I don't feel like going out or I'm homesick I feel guilty, like I am wasting my college years. If I don't feel motivated to study I feel like an under achiever, like I'm wasting my education or won't have a future. I worry I should be spending hours in the library or meeting more people. I worry that I shouldn't have a care in the world, as I sit obsessing over everything I could do better. When you daydream about something for so long it's easy to feel disappointed when it does not go exactly as planned.

I think doing your best to live in the moment is really all you can do, count the little victories and try your best. Go easy on yourself. I think that life will usually work itself out and we all do things differently. I guess I am saying if you feel lost or like you are missing out, keep at it and you will find yourself in the right spot surrounded by all the right people. So as I go into this next year of life, I am excited to see what will happen, but I am going to go easy on myself. I am not going to hold myself to some excitement quota, I will figure it out at my own pace. Don't hold yourself to impossible standards, let yourself find your happiness at your own pace. Time is weird, growing up is weird, its okay to feel weird about it. Being angry at yourself for not doing better or being better is only wasting your energy beating yourself up, just do your best.