Dear People Who Don't Understand Common Bus Courtesy,

It has come to my attention recently that students on my campus don't seem to quite grasp the common law of bus courtesy. When I say bus courtesy I really mean the unspoken laws of the bus, because to be truthful, courtesy is just a polite term for do what you're supposed to do. So let me just start with some of the basic rules that you guys don't know or understand for some reason.

Rule #1, please for the love and sake of my inflamed nostrils wear some sort of body deodorant or spray to mask your "manly" or "natural feminine" musk. I understand that I go to quite the liberal campus and that we're all about saving the environment and being all natural and go with the flow, but one rub of a deodorant stick against your armpit is not going to cause Antarctica to melt away.

Rule #2, and this rule mainly applies to the guys of the bus, but just because you got some extra business gonna on down below the belt that we ladies don't, does not mean you get to take up twice as much leg room as us. I just don't understand why men think they can take the initiative to spread their legs out like they're in some sort of 50's wild west film, but news flash you're not John Wayne, so close em' partner.

Rule #3, don't stare down the person sitting in front of you. Yes, it is a small enclosed space and you don't have much else to look at, but if you stare at me the entire 10-minute bus ride with your beety eyes, staring into my soul, we're gonna have an issue.

Rule #4, be polite and thank your bus driver. I don't even understand why this rule has to be mentioned but is seems like so many of the students who ride the bus through our school system, don't even bother to speak a simple"thank you." Like you guys are all college students who're most likely going to come out of college with a heavy debt amount, be courteous and polite while you still have passion for the world and in retrospect I'm sure these bus drivers hate driving our pathetic, broke butts around, so you students aren't even the ones having a reason to not be polite.

Rule #5, this is probably the biggest and most important rule to me personally, if there are open seats not next to someone else, do not sit directly next to me. I don't mind having to sit next to people when the whole bus is filled with students, but why on God's gracious green earth would you sit shoulder to shoulder with me when you have clearly seen an open seat somewhere else on the bus. The whole thing about this rule is that if the said student next to me breaks any of rules 1-3, this rule literally becomes 10,000 times worse. I mean I'm sure I look friendly, but I can promise you that on the 10 minute bus ride we will 1)Not become BFF's, 2)I will not be discussing with you, my life story, nor probably talk to you period, 3)My headphones will stay in my ears, because I'm thoroughly enjoying the music I'm listening to, and 4)I will not be moving over so you have "more room" in your seat when there is a perfectly good open seat somewhere else.

The unspoken rules of the bus are here so that we can all civilly go about our lives through the use of public transportation. If said rules are broken by any students, I will be thoroughly irritated with you and I'm sure this applies to pretty much all other students on campus. Now that being said, because I'm a shrewd passive aggressive individual, I will probably never verbally mention any of this to the people who break the rules, but just know that this letter goes out to you jerks.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Just Wants To Graduate College