I have always been the person who wants to make everyone else happy. If it meant sacrificing myself in order to make that happen, I would do it in a heartbeat. I put myself on the back burner so many times because I never considered my wants and needs to be important. Seeing other people’s happiness was fulfilling enough to me. It wasn’t until I noticed my physical and mental state going downhill that I realized something was missing. I wasn’t taking the time I needed to care for myself. How was I supposed to be there for others if I was neglecting the one person needed to do the job?
Proving people wrong.
In college, I was constantly adding things to my plate because I just knew I could handle it. Everyone always cautioned me to not take on too much, but it made me want to prove them wrong. I love been busy. I love filling up my Google calendar to where it looks like a rainbow exploded. I wanted to prove that I could do everything.
Being interested in everything.
Another one of my problems is that I am curious. I want to learn about everything. Because life is so short, I don’t want to miss out and normally that means trying to do numerous things at once and jumping on opportunities and experiences when they happen.
The guilt trip.
I hate when you are finally satisfied with everything going on and then someone comes up to you and says, “There’s this great opportunity for you and I really think you should consider taking it. You would be great for it!” or, “I really need your help with this. Could you please do me a favor?” And then you have no choice but to say yes because helping people is what you love. And even though you will find time to get it done, it also means less sleep for you.
When your friends ask you to hang out in your free time.
Free time? What is free time? I don’t know what the concept of that term means. Truth is, if I had it, I wouldn’t know what to do with it.
Stressing out.
When you constantly complain to your friends about how stressed you are when they told you in the beginning not to do this to yourself and so you realize that you shouldn’t complain about it which leads to all your emotions building up inside you to the point where you can’t take it anymore and you find yourself on the bathroom floor crying. Yeah. It happens.
Being selfish.
I have always thought that taking the time out of the day for myself was completely selfish, which is why I never did it. I felt like saying no meant that I was being rude, that I didn’t care or that I just didn’t want to help when that’s not the case. Sometimes you just need to.
Coming to the realization that I cannot do everything has been the hardest concept for me to accept, but I am learning to be OK with that. I have made the time, even if it’s just 30 minutes a day, to take care of myself. I have been working out more. I have been hanging with friends more. I have been eating better. And the most important part is that I have learned that saying no is perfectly OK.
