Feeling alone; it absolutely sucks, I know. It’s a weird concept. You can be around so many people, have so many friends but still feel like you’re alone. Honestly, I think that’s when it’s the worst because you’re not physically alone most of the time, but emotionally it feels like this deep dark hole has covered your heart. Then when you ARE physically alone, it makes it one hundred times worst. It’s absolutely terrifying.
I have my moments. I’ll be honest and say that sometimes when I feel alone it hits me like a freight train and I have to remind myself that I’m okay, but I also know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. We have to let it out but then we have to get back up. We aren’t meant to stay down forever or up forever. We are meant to cry. We are supposed to be upset sometimes. We’re human.
You have to surround yourself with people who make you happy: people who make you not only feel good about your own self, but also make you feel grateful to be alive. As much as we want some people in our lives, sometimes they aren’t meant to stay. I promise you you’ll know when people are good. You’ll see their light, you’ll feel the energy that exudes out of them and then immediately makes you happy. Surround yourself with people that do that.
I know that people suck sometimes. Trust me, I know. Not everybody is going to be kind to you. Which is something that still drives me insane and will be something I never understand. But when you do see and feel the kindness that exudes when someone walks into the room, hold on to it. Sometimes you need someone to remind you that you are strong and that you are an amazing person.
We aren’t meant to be alone constantly. We aren’t meant to conquer our darkest places alone. We aren’t meant to sit and observe everybody elses happiness and wonder what that feels like.
Happiness can be the tiniest of things and the tiniest of moments. Let them in. Know that they are there. It can be your favorite song coming on when you least expect it. It can be snuggling in your bed on a rainy day and watching movies. It can be someone reaching out to you when you had no idea they would. It can be re-reading that same book you love because you love the way it makes you feel.
I think sometimes we think happiness is this a far fetched concept that can’t be obtained. We may think it’s a constant. We may think happiness is having everything we want in life, or waking up every morning feeling like we can conquer anything imaginable.
Happiness to me is a lot of little things. It’s being able to make others feel happy. It’s showing love and kindness when others may not be able to find it. Happiness is my dogs because who isn’t happier than a being who is constantly wagging their tales when they see you like it’s the first time all over again?
Happiness is someone going out of their way and asking how I’m doing because that shows they care. Happiness is finding a Reese’s in my backpack from last week thinking I accidentally threw it away. Happiness is NOT feeling alone. It’s feeling loved even by people who have just met you. It’s having your friend tell you that you make their day.
There isn’t one answer to happiness. There isn’t one answer as to why we feel alone sometimes. There is no answer as to why we make up this scenario in our head sometimes that happiness is something that has to be so huge.
I know that now. I know that there are going to be times when I feel like breaking apart piece by piece. There are going to be days when I want to close my eyes and only wake up when someone notices I’ve been gone. But trust me, in the fact, that we all feel this way sometimes.
Yes, feeling alone is awful, but do me a favor, when it gets bad... let it out. Let yourself cry, let yourself break for a day. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just don’t let those days become constants, because you can find happiness in the smallest of things.
