I cannot erase the moment when I heard the news from my mind.
A weight of sadness wrapped itself around my heart.
The words pierced into my soul.
Tears streamed from my eyes.
I became numb.

How would I even begin to live a life without your beautiful soul in it?

I miss you. Plain and simple.

Honestly, saying I miss you is an understatement because I have not been able to let go of the fact that you are no longer here and there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it. Loss affects everyone in different ways. Losing you is something that I still have not gotten over.

I cannot believe that sometimes I will go almost a whole day without thinking about you.
Then it happens.
I will see a picture of you, hear a joke you use to tell, listen to a song, or hear your name and the full weight of what has been lost crashes down on me. Happy memories are tainted with sadness as I realize that for each of those things we did together, there was a last time and there will never be another.

Maybe I am afraid to forget you. Afraid to forget every single second that we spent together. The sound of your voice, your laugh. Even though I don't think that could ever be possible, I fear that if I ever come to terms with your departure, the memory of you will fade.

It is hard to think about how many milestones and memories we have already celebrated and will celebrate without you. Birthdays, holidays, and graduations. You are the first person I want to tell everything to. You are the person I wish I had standing beside me.

If you were still alive, there would be one less tattoo adorning my body. There would be one less date that makes me burst into tears EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.

It was not fair how you left us. One day you were here, and the next you were gone. I have to believe that you are watching over me from heaven. I promise to continue living my life, honoring yours. I miss you, but I am incredibly lucky and forever grateful to have known you.

All my love,
The one who misses you the most.