To The One Who Is Learning To Love Themselves Again

To The One Who Is Learning To Love Themselves Again

Worry about loving yourself, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you

Learning to love yourself first, above all else, especially in this society is even more difficult than getting out of bed on a rainy Monday. First and foremost you need to realize that if you want someone to give you and show you love you must figure out what that means to you. Visualize what love looks like through your eyes. Look at your life as if through a piece of glass. Search for the ones who are trying to shatter that glass, the ones fighting for you just to hold your hand through life. And the ones who just try to cover up the smudges and wipe away all the values you hold so tight, my dear, they are stripping you of your happiness.

One of the most important steps in this journey is recognizing what made you feel like you weren't worthy of love anymore and use it to repair your heart. What seems to be the reason for why people are unable to love themselves is the idea that they are 'too broken' to be worthy of love. Whether it be a loss of relationship or friendship. A lust for something that stripped you of your values. Or maybe it's as simple as your own thoughts racing around telling you that you are not worthy. Whatever it may be, you are not alone. In this life we all experience it. The heartbreaks of life are not only excruciating at times, but essentially necessary. These trials are the times that we can begin to understand who we are by what breaks us. Finding yourself at your core is key in this process. By realizing who you are you are then able to love that part of yourself. Which, is loving yourself. So strip away all of the undesirables, the shameful, the fake, the hidden. Cut away all in your life that isn't allowing you to be the best you and revel in the beauty that is your life. Remind yourself what it is that made you love yourself once before. Your personality, the way you laugh at a really bad joke, your friends, your family, stopping in your tracks just because you saw a dog, the countless amount of days that you just laid in bed having your own movie marathon for fun. The things in life that make you happy, the things that make you smile from ear to ear are uniquely yours. Your own little pieces of a life of love and joy. Find it, and embrace it.

While it seems all great and lovely to think about what fills you with happiness, the fact of the matter is that when you are unable to love yourself it's MUCH easier to dwell on the wrongs and picks and pricks of each day. Especially the days of your past that you can't seem to be rid of. When you are on the road to loving yourself again you must consciously be aware each day of all the miracles present in your life. Rejoice in the blissful things that make you smile. The little things that make your spirits soar. No, I don’t mean just forget about the past like it never happened. You can choose to build a house in the past and dwell in it or you can choose to live for the now. For the past is a place of reference NOT a place of residence. Be reminded of what used to break you and use it to make you stronger. Because love, You are more. You are more than the choices you used to make. You are more than the problems you used to create. You are more than what people say about you and you are definitely more than what you used to think of yourself. Being broken doesn't make you weak or small or lesser than anybody else. It just means that you have a past. Then maybe we're all a little broken. Stop hating the experiences that made you who you are today and LOVE who you've become because of it all. Stronger. Wiser. Empowered. Stop letting yourself fall down at the feet of those who won't hold out their hand and start picking yourself up when you hit the ground.

"Beautiful are those whose brokenness gives birth to transformation and wisdom." -John Green.

These wise words from the fabulous John Green remind us that enduring brokenness and pain, on all scales, can turn into the renewing of your heart and mind; if you allow it.

Remember when you were younger and going to the playground or jumping on a trampoline filled you with such excitement? Or getting that extra scoop of ice cream made you feel a little rebellious? Find the things that exhilarate you like that again. And do it on your own. You don’t need anybody else to make you happy and you definitely don't need someone who is going to tell you what should and shouldn't make you smile. Eventually I think we all learn to define happiness on our own terms and I believe when you hit that point you should never look back. Be unapologetically yourself and never say sorry for loving what you love. Be someone who makes you proud to be alive. With each and every breath it's going to be a battle. On this journey you will learn that fighting for your happiness is fighting for your future, and more importantly, your life.

Cover Image Credit: UltraFreeWallpapers

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Part 1: Necessary Changes

One of my favorite movies is "Fried Green Tomatoes" with Kathy Bates. In the movie Bates' character Evelyn Couch says, "Someone helped put a mirror up in front of my face, and I didn't like what I saw one bit. And you know what I did? I changed." I know the feeling.


I looked in the mirror over the weekend and didn't like what I saw.

The person I saw looking back at me is petty, selfish, manipulative, and unattractive. It wasn't that I hated what I saw, but I definitely didn't like what I saw either. It's a surreal feeling, looking at yourself through a critical lens, and it doesn't make you feel good in any way shape or form.

The image that I see of myself is not how I want others to perceive me. I want to be someone that people look at and see kindness, compassion, strength, and confidence.

I have enough general life experience to know that these types of changes aren't going to happen overnight, and not all of them will be physical; most of these will have to happen from the inside, from within myself.

When you find out you are all broken and damaged, it's hard to know where to start putting the pieces back together. I figured the best place to start would be the most literal: my actual insides; so, I decided to embark on a deep-cleansing journey to get all of the toxins out of my body, from the inside out.

I found this book on 10-day green smoothie detox stashed away in the dark corner of my bookshelf. The science behind it seems accurate and legitimate. By eliminating certain foods, your body is able to detox itself off of chemicals and foods that are slowing down your metabolism; the smoothies are specifically designed with combinations of foods that help restart your metabolism. Part of the detox process is getting rid of all dependencies on caffeine, alcohol, and sugar.

Every day you are given the recipe for a specific smoothie; you make the smoothie (about 40 ounces) and sip on it throughout the day whenever you get hungry. Every smoothie is a combination of leafy greens, water, fruit, and flax seeds. If you do happen to get hungry throughout the day, you are encouraged to eat raw nuts, hard boiled eggs, and a wide variety of crunchy green vegetables. There is also a detox tea that you have first thing in the morning, but other than that no other beverages are allowed except water.

I know that this is only the beginning of a very long, emotional, and draining journey. But I think I'm at the point in my life where I have to make these changes. I have to put my pieces together, I have to become a normal functioning adult, I have to find out who I am. I think that this is the perfect way to start.

For the next 10 days I am going to be documenting my experiences, how I'm feeling, what my emotions are doing, and any results that I see.

Stay tuned!

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