Reveal Your Inescapable Feelings And Emotions, Don't Suppress Them.

Reveal Your Inescapable Feelings And Emotions, Don't Suppress Them.

Lack of expression can lead you to endless damage.

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Why do we restrict ourselves from expressing intense emotions? Is it because that is our way of undermining the importance of such emotions? Is it because we are attempting to satisfy others by saving them from our craziness? Why do we believe we are "crazy" simply for FEELING even when there is no reason to feel? Is it because we do not wish for people to see such aspects of ourselves that we consider a form of ugliness about our character? Why do we remain so hidden about the powers of our mind and heart? Why do we withhold ourselves from showing the world our most vulnerable treasures?

YOU WILL DESTROY YOURSELF INTERNALLY!

As you restrain your emotions, you are creating a fire in your heart. The kind of burning rage that will explode and cause further damage to innocent people. When burying our truths, this causes us to behave in an irrational manner. We may withdraw from connections, and not be as engaged in interactions with others.

When you teach yourself to act as if something has not bothered you, when in reality it pains your every thought, you will begin to get into the unhealthy routine of concealing what needs to be discussed. Without proper communication, the wounds will remain. In fact, without an ounce of discussion, the wound will continue to worsen. There will be no healing without confrontation about your deepest and most invisible feelings.

By disguising your emotions, you are not escaping them, you are simply postponing when they will be revealed. Shy away from producing every excuse in the book to justify your inability to admit to what is occurring in your thoughts. Even if you feel like the world would fail to understand your feelings, convey them so you can free your mind and not have to mentally carry a future burden.

THIS DESTRUCTION WILL FURTHER CAUSE CHAOS TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS.

The veiled feelings and emotions you are not thoroughly capturing will act as a slow poison. Not only will this create so much disaster within but it will also attack those around you. Have you ever caught yourself surprisingly angered at someone for an act that is minuscule in value? Have you ever witnessed a loved one reacts in a questionable way that made you wonder whether or not their groundless irritation was caused by someone else?

Silencing our emotions and feelings will lead us to take out such anger, hurt, and annoyance on others who are not the sources of our inner demons. It will be disturbingly easy to find other places to store our emotions that we are too busy restricting people from seeing. Sometimes we become so consumed in the efforts it takes to suppress our feelings that we are blind to the effects it has on those it is not meant to.

Emotions are our soul's way of asking for a sense of guidance and understanding. Release them before you find yourself in the burdening cycle of endless pain. Expressing such pain can begin to heal you.

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

From an outside perspective, suicidal thoughts are rarely looked into deeper than the surface level. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is that people live in between those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead.

You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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It's 2019: Why Do We Still Think Ghosting is Okay?

It's time to finally be mature and confront this epidemic.

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As a fellow college student and a girl living in a big city, I'm aware that the opportunity to meet new people is everywhere. During the summer, apps like Snapchat and Instagram pave a pathway to those opportunities, whether it be a boy from your college or someone from your hometown you haven't seen before. We have all grown accustomed to those summer flings, where you speak for hours on end and it's all dandy and beautiful. You're telling everyone about this new boy, and your brain is literally reeling with daydreams. And then, the inevitable happens.

They stop responding.

Nothing feels worse than someone leaving your message on 'read,' and then never hearing from them again. It feels as though the person you're talking to could care less about you, and that they could easily go on about their life pretending you never existed. Normally, I would recommend you take a good, hard look at yourself and ask if it really matters, but this epidemic has spread far and wide enough to make me realize that society has normalized this issue.

We've gotten used to the idea of being ghosted because we're too scared to create those deeper connections. I'm used to thinking to myself, "If we talk for too long, this might actually go somewhere." I'm used to realizing that all good things must come to an end, simply because everyone ends up being too afraid to talk. And it is sad to think about, to think that someone could toss a human aside like it's nothing.

To be honest, we have all ghosted someone before. Even if it's a friend or someone who was interested in us, it is all the same. Sometimes it makes us feel like we're winning like we have all the power. We left that person wondering about us. But in what universe has it become okay to torture someone like that, to let their mind wander off about what they might have done, or why they weren't good enough for you? Sure, we might have all ghosted someone before, but that doesn't mean it should be a normalized thing.

I know I can't make a crazy impact on the world by asking if ghosting is necessary, and it won't stop the frat boys of this universe, but we should finally be mature enough to realize that ghosting isn't something to be proud of. You shouldn't be proud of hurting other people's feelings and making them feel lesser of themselves. You shouldn't be happy that you're frightened by the idea of commitment or even worse, an actual human connection.

We should communicate with people. Talk about your day or talk about why the freaking sky is blue. And if you're not interested in someone, maybe instead of ghosting them, you let them know why they might not be the right fit for you. If we communicated more with others, we might realize that there are more words and stories to every person. So, respond. Stop being scared.

Because with the way society is headed, there might not be enough words left to save us in the future.

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