I hope no one makes the mistake of calling you their best friend. I kind of find it funny sometimes how we all call each other best friends and try to believe in this illusion that things last “forever.” I still remember when I first met you, I hadn’t felt that close to anyone in a long time. I was walking into this new phase in my life, with a best friend right off the bat. I know you know how great that felt, especially since we were both about to embark on this journey alone, but not really because we had each other. It was such an unspoken truth because I knew that the second my parents left that day, I would meet you, and that’s how you made that goodbye easier than it could have ever been. You were my day one, my week zero.
Somewhere between you meeting your college boyfriend, the drama that revolved around our friend group, and the distance between our two dorm buildings, I lost you. Or maybe I didn’t, because how do you lose something you never had? A lot of people I cared for followed you out that door, and I can honestly say you were the reason this low felt lower than any low I had ever had. Maybe it wasn’t even that you left. Maybe it was because I finally took off my rose-colored glasses and saw that our friendship didn’t have you in it in the first place. I felt so lonely because I was the only one that was ever in it. How are you supposed to be the same after something like that?
You weren’t willing to fight for me the way you fought for your boyfriend. I get it, others have told me that relationships make people really selfish. You only care about you and your significant other. So I get it, I see it from your side, but do you see it from mine? I don’t think you ever did. Did you just call me your best friend because you didn’t have someone to fill in that spot in your life, or did you really mean it? I don't think we'll ever know for sure.
Honestly you’ve taught me so much by putting me through this. All I had to do was let go. So I guess in a way you can take this as a thank you letter. Thank you for teaching me not to put so much pressure on something from the start. Thank you for reminding me that some people do not want to be chased after, that when they drift away and that they really mean to. You showed me that some things just don’t work out, no matter how hard you try. Trust me, I tried. Thank you for reminding me of one of the greatest things that Hindus believe in: Karma. Maybe I deserved this for pushing away someone, the way you did to me, a few years ago. Thank you for playing along. I hope there were moments that you can recall later in life as fond memories. Most importantly, thank you for reminding me how it feels to call someone your best friend. I hope you know it was genuine from my side from the start.
You were such a joy to be around, and I want you to know I will always wish for your success, health, and happiness. Good luck in all of your future endeavors, and goodbye from the other side.
