Dear needy girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, or whomever you may be:
I am right there with you. I am hungry for the affection and admiration and always have been.
We often hear that neediness is one of the worst qualities to have in a relationship. The word “needy” goes along with words like clingy, insecure, dependent, anxious, and helpless. We sense these negative connotations when the ones we care about drift further and further away as the burden of paying attention to us becomes too much for them.
All we want is for that person to be there. We’re angry they don’t seem to need us like we need them, and we're frustrated they aren't filling our needs like we think they should be. The worst part is feeling like our neediness is incurable. The more we try to stop thinking about how we need the other person, the more we ache for their presence and attention.
The truth is that neediness is incurable. We are finite beings, so we need many things for survival like food, water, oxygen, love, attention, etc. Furthermore, we don’t have the means to provide most of these things for ourselves. Some pop songs tell us to turn to other people to fill our need for love, acceptance, and companionship, but other people break under the pressure of being our “everything,” leaving us jaded and even more insecure than before.
Our needs are legitimate, but we are going to the wrong person to fill them. We make the humans we love our idols, but because they are not God they can never fulfill us.
God is the infinite creator of the world. He made and sustains everything, which means that anything we need must come from him as the source. He is also the savior of the world, which means he longs to fill our deepest needs through Jesus Christ. He has an infinite supply of love, grace, peace, and power and he pours these over us.
Be needy. Be the neediest. But remember who it is that you need, because there is only one that you can put your hope in.
Where are some areas that you seek other people to fill your needs? How can you learn to rely on God for these things?
