You may think you are doing what's best for her by controlling her while she is young, but as she gets older she is going to resent you. You talk about how much you hated your mom from keeping you from your dad, only you are doing the same thing. Controlling your daughter is not going to make her love you more and me less, you are just pushing her to love me more. I am not here to take her from you or persuade her that I am better, I am here to love her and pick up the slack where you fail. You are not a bad mother for wanting what's best, you are just doing it wrong. Controlling every aspect of our daughter's life and keeping her from her father because you don't like me, that's toxic. Trying to find the best diapers,daycare,formula, body washes, that's a caring mother. Telling her father when something is wrong or the things she likes and dislikes, that's an involved mother. Allowing me to be in her life without fighting and being rude to me every time we meet that would be a mother who cares about what her child wants, but you are not capable of doing that. You create tension and manipulate to get what you want, you don't ask about her when she is away, and will give up your time so you can go act a fool. Telling everyone I am evil and her dad walked out, that's not a loving mother. That's a mother who wants control, a mother that just cares about herself. You may not see that you are being toxic but everyone around you does. Listen to me when I say think of your daughter. Forget about everything your baby daddy might have done and think of that beautiful blessing of yours. Think of how much better she would be with two sets of parents that love her. Think of the joy that she could have but having both her parents getting along and supporting her. You don't have the right to complain how mentally screwed up you are from your mother, if you are not willing to break the cycle.As a parent your primary interest is making sure your child is loved and taken care of, not getting back at your ex for whatever they may have done. Do not make your child's and ex's life miserable for your own personal gain. Try to discussion important aspects of the child's life and try to come to a happy median with each other, allow the child to have a say in what they want, and never tell your child negative things about the other parent. Toxic parenting can create more problems in the long haul, depression, anxiety, anger, or even rebellion, are just a few examples of what could happen. You need to fix yourself now before things get worse.

Yours truly,

The bonus mom