To the man who once turned my life upside down:

I do not have it in me to hate. That is not who I am. I do, however, despise you with every fiber of my being. I despise how you made me feel—powerless and as though I were somehow less of a person than you. There is no explanation to make sense of why you chose me. I do not know what made you feel that treating me in such a way was acceptable but let me tell you now and firmly—nothing about what you did was okay and I did nothing to deserve it.

How could you speak to me in that way? How dare you objectify me in a place where I should feel safe and comfortable? How could you use your power to dominate me and make me feel small? How dare you make me feel ashamed of what happened?

I do not, nor will I ever, understand people like you. I do understand that we need to take a stand against those who behave as you do.

So, guess what? I am.

You ignited a fire within me and it now burns strong. I will do whatever I can to help others who have been through similar situations. I am going to work towards educating people on what sexual assault, harassment, and abuse look like. It is time for society to recognize the warning signs and feel empowered to take action to stop it.

No one should be made to feel small and powerless. People like you do not have the right to take away our dignity, self-worth, and purpose. I will not let you take away mine, nor should anyone else who has been made to be a survivor thanks to the despicable actions of people like you. I hope that others will continue to fight the good fight against predators such as yourself.

Let me make it clear. I do not hate you. That takes up too much energy and to be honest, you are not worth that. Hate is intense and passionate. You, sir, are not worth the time you consume in my mind remembering what you did and said. You are not worth the tears I have shed wondering what I did to cause this. You are not worth the effort. You have taken enough from me and I will not allow you to consume my emotions. I will not allow you to harden my heart with hatred. You do not get that power.

I choose to live my life. I choose to find happiness. I choose to find purpose. I choose to love.

So, to the man who once turned my life upside down: I despise you, but I do not hate you.