I want to start by saying congratulations. Not for your marriage, but for being the kind of man that is lucky enough to be with someone like my best friend. Along with many other things, I trust her judge of character. So that means you must be pretty special (don’t prove me wrong).

Secondly, I want to say that no matter how much you and her have been through together, don’t forget that I had her first. This means that I am entitled to be at every party, family gathering, and social event that is hosted at your house, along with occasional surprise visits when I’ve gone too long without seeing her.

This also means that she will probably use up all of the data on your family plan from calling me every night to tell me about her day. When she does this, try not to get upset or jealous - I have been dealing with everything from her rants about the most recent episode she just watched on TV to every possible thing that could ever make her sad since we were tiny freshman girls in high school. Believe me, she wouldn’t have married you if she didn’t feel comfortable picking up her phone purely to tell you about the dog she just saw on her way to work, in full detail. Even though you can do for her everything that I can, just try to understand that sometimes all she wants to do is talk to her best friend. Don’t take it to heart.

Now listen carefully to this next part. At times that I can’t be there, I need you to fulfill my role. Lay in bed with her until 2 in the afternoon telling each other about the dreams you just had. And when you finally get out of bed, just move to the couch and watch whichever Disney movie she’s in the mood for that day (and don’t complain when it’s Anastasia, again).

Take her out to ice cream and order it for her (small chocolate soft serve with chocolate jimmies, in a dish but with a cone). And during times when she is on a health kick, try to motivate her to stick to it but don’t shame her when you find her sneaking some Pringles into her diet.

She’d be mad at me if she heard me say this, but make sure she goes to the dentist. That means schedule her appointments for her AND drive her there, because God knows she will never go on her own. Talk to her about politics and third world countries, and listen when she talks to you about her family (warning: there are a lot of them). And at night when she lets you have control of the TV remote, if you ever put on any Law & Order besides SVU she’ll probably have a hard time trusting your judgement on anything ever again.

More than anything else, please just make her happy. Make inside jokes with her that nobody else will understand, not even me. Play music while you are cooking dinner together, and sing at the top of your lungs even if you are completely awful. Swallow your pride and dismiss your ego when you make mistakes - she is the most forgiving person I know, don’t take that for granted. And make her laugh, the deep, stomach-wrenching, almost-die-cause-you-can’t-breathe kind of laugh. The kind of laugh she has when she is with me. And be patient with her, sometimes she holds back her feelings because she doesn’t want to forsake anybody else’s happiness. She doesn’t mean to be distant, she only ever does things with good intentions.

Understand that gaining her in your life will be the greatest gift you have ever received. She’s been my best friend through the best and the worst times, and we’ve shared numerous birthdays, holidays, summers that were too short, and heartbreaks that were too long. In between all of the ugly cries and waking up at 4am to give the same advice given hundreds of times before, she has loved me all the same. And what a privilege it is to have a love like that.

Don’t give up when you feel like you are not enough for her, that she deserves more than you. Because in all honestly, she deserves someone who thinks that she can do better. She deserves someone who sees her potential and how much she has to offer, who not only understands but appreciates her heart and her unfailing kindness to others. She deserves someone who cannot even imagine how they got so lucky to be in her life, I know that I still feel that way.

So congratulations, for winning over the purest heart I have ever had the honor of knowing. I am trusting you with one of the most important parts of my life, please don’t let me down.

And if you do, I promise that I WILL hear about it.