If you are an introvert wanting to be an extrovert, I don't blame you. That's me. I am an introvert, and I have always wanted to be an extrovert. Sometimes it seems that extroverts have more fun or are able to magically hold the best conversations in the world- and I can't even pipe in a funny comment because I'm scared of saying something stupid. Today, I learned a lesson though.

I woke up early, three hours before the football game. The day before I had convinced myself that I would go, but I didn't know who to go with. I sat at my desk, pajamas and all, and played mind games with myself. Should I go to the game? Yes. But do I want to? I don't know. No. Yes? Ugh. I have a ticket, and I've found a group to go with. I should use my ticket. But do I really want to go with the group? I don't know. Do I want to go by myself? No. Do I want to be social? Yes. Do I feel like being social? No. Will I ever feel like being social? At this rate, probably not. Would I regret not going? I don't know, I haven't made it that far. You know what, I'm going. I'm just going to rip the bandaid and go.

I went, and it was fun, but I didn't enjoy myself as I had hoped to. The group was good, but because I went with the mindset of having to be social, naturally, that's where I went wrong. Sometimes we do things because we want to put ourselves out there. We may not know if we are going to particularly enjoy the things, but the motive behind the actions is what needs some careful consideration. If you are doing something to try new things, go for it! It's awesome to try new things! However, if you are trying new things for the sake of being social, think.

Stop and think for a moment. I know you may be tired of thinking, and that you think all the time, but think about this: you are you. Nothing should change that. As much as you want to be a social butterfly or an awesome conversationalist, don't take for granted that you were given a beautiful mind and a beautiful ability to think and analyze and connect and observe. Don't let the desire to be something more change the very core of who you are. Do what you love to do, and you will soon find the people who love those things too. Even if that means skipping a game to curl up with a good book, or studying in your room instead of big group settings.

I've struggled so long with this, and I still do. I get caught between my conscience telling me to be social and my heart telling me that I'd rather spend some time alone. It's tough, and it drives me crazy. I have finally decided, however, that I need to cut myself some slack. I don't need to have everything figured out right now. I don't need to have my social life figured out right now. Maybe I will never figure out my social life. Maybe no one ever does. True friendships take a long time to establish. I'm going to take it easy, figure out what I like and what I don't, and discover the people I truly connect with and the people who understand me not for my ability to talk or think but for the things that we share. Friends appear in the unlikeliest of places, but only if you are you.

The world tends to favor extroverts, but introverts mean just as much. There are advantages and disadvantages to both, and without the two, the world would be a crazy place. Take pride in who you are. Take pride in your personality. Take pride in being the beautiful, amazing, "introvert" you are. There's nothing wrong with that.