To The Hardest Person You'll Ever Love

I remember the first day I questioned my love for you as if it was yesterday. It was a typical day in the life of any average 13-year-old. I woke up to my alarm ringing in my eardrums, threw my hair in a ponytail, grabbed my backpack, and ran out the door to catch the bus. In the midst of my pre-teen adolescence, I had not yet been introduced to the concept of makeup, hair straighteners or matching clothes.

I loved you for what you were, and I never compared you to what you were not.

Until I did. I could blame it on her, or I could blame it on her mother who raised her. I could blame it on the boys who were hot and heavy over her, but really I can only blame it on myself. For some reason, on this day I took notice of her blonde highlights and sparkly eyeshadow. For some reason, on this day I took notice of the way my male peers marveled at her and her new skinny jeans. For some reason, on this day when I returned home and looked in the mirror, I wasn't so content with the reflection you gave back to me.

It was no longer enough.

Sure, you got me from place to place and on our good days, we were relatively compatible. However, some days your skin wasn't so clear and you didn't quite look the same as she did in the skinny jeans you bought to match hers. The boys walked right by you as they chased after her new blonde highlights and didn't notice that you tried to cover up your budding puberty blemishes with make-up you stole from your mom's bathroom.

It was never enough.

I now realize that no amount of eyeshadow or trendy clothes could change the fact that our time together is unending and unfiltered. Therefore, I have seen you at your absolute worst. I have seen you with the same makeup running down your face because your best friend dated your biggest crush. I have seen you, your shirt drenched in tears because you didn't get accepted to the college of your dreams. I know the aspirations you hide because you are too scared you will not be able to accomplish them. I know that you hate the way your voice shakes when you hear bad news. I know everything there is to know about you that nobody else knows.

You, my friend, are the hardest person I've ever had to love.

I have loved friends who have not loved me back. I have loved boys who still use two-in-one shampoo. I have loved the untrustable and I have loved the unlovable. Only recently did I realize that this was nothing compared to the feat of loving you. I began to really see you when I noticed the way your eyes lit up when you were talking about someone you love. I began to really see you when I felt the exhaustion wearing on you as you studied just one more chapter of your school book because your dreams were more important than rest. I began to really see you when I realized how very much more there was to see.

Sure, you don't look too hot with dark circles and bed head hair.

But honestly, neither does the boy you fell in love with, but you love him anyway. And, since we're on the topic, she was running late today and she forgot her eyeshadow and suddenly she looks a lot more like you, but she's pretty anyway.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

10 Etsy Father's Day Gifts Under $40 To Support Your Dad And Small Businesses

Stores may still be closed, but the internet is still wide open. So, while you're already shopping online check out Etsy for your Father's Day needs and support small creators.

As June approaches, Father's Day is coming up quickly with it. While they may not ask for much, it's always a nice gesture to give your dad something special to share your appreciation. Although, at the same time, it might be difficult to find the perfect gift either for their humor or that will be practical.

On a normal occasion, it's simple to find a gift for your father figures in stores, but for the times we're currently in our access has become very limited. Small and independent businesses need help now more than ever, so what better time than now to support them? If you're still stuck on what to give for Father's Day, look to this list for some inspiration that won't hurt your wallet too much.

Keep Reading... Show less

The worlds of beauty and fashion often collide, whether for good or bad. In both, underrepresentation has always been, and remains to be, a major unresolved issue. After the recent killing of George Floyd, many people are rightfully enraged, compounded by the fact his death in police custody wasn't an isolated incident.

Police brutality against Black people is not new, and isn't going away till we start dedicating resources to fighting it. Many of us, as individuals, have only begun in the last week scratching the surface of what it means to educate ourselves on race, historical race relations, and how to be an ally to the Black community.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because You Can Still Connect While Disconnecting From Social Media

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

I don't know if you've heard, but there's a lot going on right now, particularly in relation to George Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and public protest of racial injustice in the United States. While we can all agree that this deserves conversations, change, and actionable good, social media arguments with Great Aunt Linda are not where social change begins and ends. Spending too much time scrolling through your phone has never been healthy, but now it's even more addicting — what does that one person from my hometown say about this? How can I further education within discussions? Am I posting enough?

Keep Reading... Show less

I don't know about you, but reading is at the top of my to-do list this summer... especially with all the social distancing I'll still be doing. If, like me, you're hoping to pick up a romantic page-turner (or a couple dozen), here are 23 romance novels by Black authors you'll absolutely LOVE reading.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

12 Ways To Help The #BlackLivesMatter Movement If You CAN'T Protest

We can all do better. Join the fight against racial injustice.

The current state of the world has created the perfect storm for change in America. But with change there is always risk. Although protests have sprung up all across America, COVID-19 is still a very real risk. Luckily, you can help bring about change from the comfort of your own home. And no, I don't mean just by posting a black square on social media.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

True Self-Care Is HARD, That Face Mask Isn't Actually Going To Solve Your Problems

There's a line between self-care and self-destruction.

Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock for the past few years has seen something somewhere about self-care whether it was on Facebook, Twitter, or their Instagram feed. Oftentimes it's pictures of celebrities or influencers sipping green smoothies or slathering on mud masks with #selfcare. It's posts like these that made me realize that "self-care" has become the ultimate buzz word, soaring in popularity but in the process, it's lost most of its original meaning. It's time to set the record straight and reclaim the term.

Although self-care has been around for quite some time, within the past few years it's been misconstrued and commodified as our capitalist society tends to do with things it thinks can be profited off. Self-care is now being peddled as something that can be bought and sold on the shelf at Target rather than something that takes real work to achieve. This fake self-care movement is not only enabling people to over-indulge themselves, but it has created a crutch for people to avoid the responsibility of taking true care of themselves. Instead of doing the work that needs to be done, many people fall into the trap of rewarding themselves for doing nothing at all — this can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism, especially with corporations cheering us on (to buy their next product). Long, hard day at work? Just grab your third iced coffee of the day! Fight with your SO? Buy that 50-dollar face mask, it'll make you feel better! This is how self-care becomes self-sabotage and self-destructive.

Keep Reading... Show less

Minorities are consistently under-represented in our day-to-day lives, notably in the world of fashion. It's likely you're looking for a way to support black artists. Whether that's the case or you're just a fashion-lover in general, these brands aren't just some of the best black-owned fashion brands — they're some of the most innovative brands of our time, period.

From luxury staples to fun accessories and loungewear, these brands aren't just stunning names you should definitely be following on Instagram, each honors the founder's roots in unique ways with the power of storytelling through artistic expression that manifests in pieces we can't wait to wear.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Home Items You Need For Stress Relief, On The Days You 'Literally Cannot'

Fill your home with peaceful, calming coping mechanisms.

I'd like to think that 2020 is teaching us a lot. Or will teach us a lot. Or will be a story we tell at parties one day. Ultimately, this year has been — and is probably going to continue to be — a bit of a mess.

At the beginning of the year, Australia was on fire and we mourned the death of Kobe Bryant. Then, coronavirus (COVID-19) took our spring and shut us in our homes, inciting panic over public health and sparking political upheaval at every decision made by local and federal officials alike. Now, a week after George Floyd's death at the hands of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, a nationwide conversation is reignited with protests regarding racial injustice in the United States. There is an enormous amount of tension, hurt, and change that is upon the American people.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments