This is to the guys who think they are entitled to whatever they want -- sex, love, inappropriate pictures and more. We’ve all heard “Yes means yes, and no means yes” or better yet, “Yes means yes, and no means anal.” NO. No means no. For those of you who are confused, let me clear up the confusion with the definition of no. If used as an adverb -- a negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal, as in response to a question or request. If used as a noun- a denial or refusal. If used as a verb -- to reject, refuse approval, or express disapproval of. So we can conclude that no is a denial or refusal. Get that through your heads.
Picture this: a happy girl, maybe she is a volleyball player, a cheerleader, in the band, choir, FFA, or just girl doing whatever makes her happy. She smiles and always has a great time. Sure she has her bad days, but they never get her down for long. She is smart and makes good grades or average. She loves her family and is very active in school and family activities. She is always with her friends. Now this is where you come in. You are selfish. You blame it on alcohol, the way she was dressed, or maybe she flirted a little. You get it in your head that you both want the same thing. When she says no, you do not listen. You want what you want and you are going to get it. She says no again, but you don’t think she really means that. So you kiss her. She pushes you away and you still do not get the hint.So you go after what you want and you get it. Are you proud of yourself? Does it make you feel good? You fought for something you wanted and got it, and isn’t that what your momma taught you to do? To fight for what you want? No. Not quite what she meant. I can guarantee your mom would not be proud, no one would, and you shouldn’t be either. You know that girl that was once so involved, happy, and loving? Well now she’s uninvolved, unhappy, and distant. She doesn’t care about school. She doesn’t care about her activities, she might even quit them. She doesn’t want to be around people and would rather just stay in her room.
You took away a part of her that she may never get back. You took away her trust. She will never trust as much as she once did. She will never be as reckless and carefree as she use to be. She will always second guess people’s intentions. Now are you proud to know you took that away from her? She doesn’t tell people because then the stupid questions come. “Were you drinking? What were you wearing? Did you flirt or lead him on? Have you all before?” None of that matters. No means no, no if ands or buts. Taking advantage of someone is never something to be proud about or brag about. It’s not something you go tell the “bros.” If a girl says no, don’t do it. Don’t pressure her, don’t push her. If a girl is blacked out or passed out because of drinking, that’s saying no enough.
She can’t tell you herself, so don’t think that in some twisted way that it is OK. It is not, now matter how you look at it. You are not entitled to whatever you want just because you were nice or she was nice. What might make you feel fulfilled, destroys her. So just don’t do it. It’s not cool. It’s not something to tell the kids someday. No means no.
