"You didn’t love her, you just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the person that you love!"- Grey's Anatomy
Hello Lover Boy,
I want to start off by thanking you, without you I wouldn't have found the man of my dreams. At the time I'm sure you thought that you loved me, at least you told me all the time, I think for a while I believed you. Though it wasn't a matter of believing you it was the fact that I was in love with the idea of someone loving me. I was so in love with that idea that I was willing to settle, the thought that I may have ended up with you actually terrifies me. You told me you loved me, you told me you would always be there and I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that you didn't keep your promise. I never questioned your loyalty, but I guess that sometimes happens when you decide to give someone the benefit of the doubt. When you told me you loved me I had no idea that I wasn't the only girl that you loved. That's not how it works though, you knew it but still you said it anyway.
Perhaps you kept me by your side because I was the girl you saw a future with, or maybe you liked the fact that my hair was a shade darker than hers, or maybe you have issues deep down inside that I never got to see. You are not a bad person, you were however a terrible boyfriend. You don't owe me an apology but you do owe an apology to the men in the world who will never get the chance that you did.
Unfortunately, there are others out there just like you. Giving the same pickup lines, standing at the same bar, with the same goofy grin plastered on your face. I owe you a huge thank you though. Thank you for completely dismantling any fool hearted belief that I had about love, thank you for opening my eyes to betrayal, for setting me free from you and allowing me to stand taller on my own. You taught me to never settle and to always know what I want, you taught me to guard my heart and to be careful about who I give it too.
Thank you for thinking that you loved me, in your own messed up way. I know what love is now, and I owe you a lesson as well.
Love isn't about public displays of affection, it isn't about the amount of people who think you are perfect together, it isn't sending naked photos or sexting, it isn't about sex or cheating.
Love is... loving yourself before loving someone else. Love is about loving someone as much as you love yourself. Treating them with respect and loyalty, it is not bought or sold. It is earned and it never stops growing. You feed into it every day in everything that you do and it pours out of your heart and into the souls around you.
I hope you come to learn that one day.
Best Wishes,
The Girl you thought you loved.
