To the guy who thinks he won,
This isn't a game, there's no "champion" but you seem to think so. You are so determined to end up being the best one in the end when nothing you did to me was good. However, you did put on one hell of a show. I wonder if anything you said or did was real or the truth, and if the time spent with me was actually something you wanted. Because who just looks at someone and wants to play them like you did with me?
Maybe I should've realized something was off when everything was on your terms. When we saw each other, talked, and so on. I made excuses for you constantly. How you were treating me wasn't common for two people who were starting to talk, but I'm sometimes too understanding and always giving out second chances. My friends knew it but I'm stubborn and I hoped for something better to come of this.
I wish I wasn't so gullible. Because at that point where I knew something better wasn't coming, that's when I felt like you won. You had gotten to me and made me feel like a fool. All the signs were there, how could I not notice and let you win? But then blaming myself didn't sit well, blame me for your faults and lies and everything in between? No, that couldn't happen.
The truth is me, or any other girl out there, doesn't need a companion constantly there to tell us how great we are, we should know that for ourselves. I was living my life and doing great before you, so who's to say I can't do that after you? Why reach into the freezer for my favorite Ben & Jerry's on a Friday night when I can go out with my best friends?
No, not to show I'm so much better without you, or in hopes you'll see me and take back everything, but for me. Because I deserve happiness. Because I deserve to be nothing less than second best to someone who I make a priority. I deserve what you couldn't give me.
Finding someone to love and to love me back may not be what's supposed to happen right now, but finding someone later on who treats me right will be worth the wait. The truth is I wasted too many days trying to be someone you wanted when who I am is enough.
So let me be clear when I say that you are not the winner here. Just because I no longer have you does not make me feel any less validated or worthy. And because you no longer have me, I have the power on how much you hurt me, which I will not allow. Because from here on out, I choose to not let you be the reason I cry, you won't be someone I lose sleep over, and you will be the text I ignore when you act like nothing is wrong. I'm not sorry but you do not get to get to me, there are so many other reasons for me to be excited about life and you do not have to be one of them.
