To the guy who found someone better.

I'm sorry I couldn't love you as hard as her or maybe it was I loved you so much that I pushed myself away because of fear. My whole life I've seen so many I adore hurt by what they thought or think is "love". I have this wall built up, not because of my hurt but because of others. Honestly I'm still surprised I even made the step to be with you. You were perfect for me though and I still believe that.

I'm sorry I let my mental stability get in the way of our relationship sometimes. I got annoyed and angry so quick and I realized after the fact that it put such a big damper on our relationship. But you see I've worked on this and I have changed so much. I was too late though.

I'm sorry I allowed our relationship to move so quickly. We were so young and wanted so much that we pushed and pushed and eventually I think it was just too much for both you and I. Maybe if we would've took things slower and not jumped the gun, we would be going on year two of our relationship.

I'm sorry I was a coward and ran away from our problems instead of working through them with you. Sometimes I just thought it was all too much to bare and I didn't know at times if we would get through it. Instead of trying my damndest, I gave up. I'm not a quitter, so this was very unusual for me. But, I let the devil upon my shoulder and wasn't strong enough to win the fight.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you at all times mostly because of distance but even more sorry you couldn't be a part of so many events in my life. I see you going to your new girlfriends events and posting her all over your social media like your most prized trophy. Sometimes I wonder if you could've done that for me if our circumstances were different. I would've killed for you to be present at my games and competitions as much as I was present at your races. I wanted the same support but I couldn't have it and it was no where near your fault and I'm sorry for that.

I'm mostly sorry I took you for granted. You treated me like a queen and you have been and probably will be the only guy to do that for me. Of course you had a few issues that caused us problems but so did I and then again what couple didn't have issues? We had the best times together and shared so much laughter. We knew things about each other that we would never dare tell or show others. I could never possibly replace that bond we shared. You were my world and even if I don't want to admit it, you still are.

I hate that it took me this long to figure all of this out because I always thought that I was the one for you and you wouldn't find someone to love any more than you loved me.

But the most hurtful thing I did was fool myself because you did in fact find someone better than me. And now I'm left alone in heartache while you enjoy life with a sweet beautiful girl who isn't me. You taught me so much and I will always be so grateful. I will never forget the love you had for me and the memories we shared.

I pray you find your way back to me. I'm compelled to find love like yours again and maybe some day I will but for now I'll be still for god has a plan.

I'm sorry.