I’ve been there. I’ve been walked out on by the guy I thought was the man of my dreams. My heart was shattered, my brain distracted for weeks – if not months. My energy was gone, my appetite was gone – Everything seemed to be…gone.

And then I realized: if someone had the power to bring me so much pain, then they’re not the one.

You will hurt.

Don’t fight it. Don’t bottle it up. If you do, it will just explode later – just like if you shake a soda bottle. Let the pain be real. Let it consume you. This is, in a way, a form of grieving. But after you let yourself hurt, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and get back to living the life that you deserve. Don’t let the ignorance or rejection of a single person affect the way that so many others see you. So don’t try to fight the pain. Let it come. Let it wash over you. But once it’s gone, don’t let it come back.

You will miss them.

The person you think you will end up with holds a place in your heart like no one else can. It’s hard to describe, but you feel like there’s some sort of attachment that nothing can ever break – that neither of you will ever WANT to break. But then, one does. And then what was once one connection is now two unattached parts. You will miss the feeling of being a single being while being two separate people. You will miss the way they said your name, the way they opened the car door for you, or even the way that they clenched their jaw when they were upset. But don’t bottle those up either. Write them down and never look at them again. Find a way to figure out closure. You deserve it.

You will wonder if they miss you.

They’re in the wrong, right? You didn’t do anything, right? Then why are you the one feeling the most pain? Do they feel anything at all? You will wonder that if they could take it back, if they would. And you won’t know the answer – that’s the part that kills the most.

You will wonder how they’re doing without you.

Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter stalking will go through the roof to see how their life is since they left. You (and your best friends) will scan every outlet imaginable to see if they found someone new, if they’re hanging out with their buddies more, if they’ve turned back to alcohol like you have been eyeing in your parents’ wine cellar. The truth is… You just want to see them unhappy. I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve looked and looked for any clue that the person that walked out on me was miserable after they were able to call me theirs. But then I realized that I spent more time obsessing over their life than I did taking care of my own. Put the phone and laptop down and do a spa night with your girls. Grab a zen coloring book and let the image of the person that did you wrong disappear – even if it’s just for an hour.

You’ll see them in everything you do.

You put in a movie and remember it was their favorite. You go into a store only to be bombarded by the scent of the cologne they used to wear. You look in your closet and see the sweatshirt that you’re never giving back (sweetheart: get rid of that). Everything you do, everywhere you go, there’s something that reminds you of them. So make new memories with the people that you know without a shadow of a doubt will never leave your side. Engrain those in your mind and soon, the smell of his cologne will be nothing but a strong scent that costs $70 a bottle.

Remove everything that reminds you of the heartache.

This will take time. The day after they leave is probably not the best time to burn all of their pictures and love letters. But, each day, remove one picture from your room. Delete one picture from your phone. Throw out one letter a week. Slowly remove the negative reminders that will only break your heart all over again.

You will be okay.

I know that right now, life seems pointless. Nothing seems to have a meaning if you don’t have your forever person by your side and still in your life. But trust me when I say this – you WILL be okay. How do I know? Because I’ve been there. Many times. My friends have been there. I’ve seen it time and time again. I’ve seen and witnessed the pain. I’ve seen and witnessed the healing. I’ve seen and witnessed the moving on. And in time, I have no doubt that you will too.