We’ve all had that friend.

The one you are so close with and do everything with, until… a guy comes along.

It’s the worst thing that could happen to any friendship. Unfortunately, it happens all the time.

It’s the same story every time; a girl meets a guy and thinks he’s the greatest thing in the world (news flash: he’s usually not) and suddenly she forgets about her friends, her family, and everything else that used to matter to her.

I feel like an expert on this topic because three years ago, I was this girl.

I fell for the guy who sat next to me in fourth period my senior year of high school. The second he paid the slightest bit of attention to me, I let everything else go.

To the smart, confident girls who have never and would never do anything like this: I congratulate you. However, at the time, I was not smart or confident when it came to guys. In fact, quite the opposite; I was naïve and insecure.

I really believe insecure girls are like magnets for guys who are all wrong for them. I know I was. I was constantly feeling confused about myself and who I was, and when I met someone who took some of my insecure feelings away (at least temporarily), it seemed perfect.

Except it wasn’t.

When I met this guy in the fall of my senior year, I had a lot going for me. Despite the insecurities I had, I was a good student, had great friends, and I was an athlete. I had a really good relationship with my family, and I somehow managed to balance it all.

The second I met this guy, everything changed.

I quickly went from the girl who knew how to make time for everything and everyone to the girl who only cared about spending every waking minute with her new boyfriend.

In the beginning, I was simply going through the motions. But within weeks, I allowed the relationship to consume and change everything about me.

Initially, I disagreed with almost everything he did. So, I decided to take it upon myself to try to change him.

However, anyone who has ever tried to change someone else knows that it never works.

So, somewhere in the process of me to trying to change him for the better, he ended up changing me — for the worst.

Although nothing about my physical appearance was changing, everything about my personality was. The worst part was that everyone could see it but me.

My grades were dropping and I barely cared about school anymore. I rarely spent time with my friends and family, and even when I did, I was never really focused on them or present in what we were doing.

I never brought my boyfriend places, because none of my friends and family really liked him. So, I spent almost all of my time with his friends and doing the things they were doing. I won’t give too many details away, but my parents rarely approved of what I was doing when I was out with them. This only worsened the entire situation by causing so much tension and arguments.

Back then, I resented my friends and family so much for not liking the person I had chosen as my boyfriend. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t think he was as great as I did.

The truth is, he wasn’t all that great, and the people who loved me just saw all of the bad things I couldn’t.

It took me so long to realize how wrong I was to ever resent the people who really loved me. Looking back, I can’t believe how lucky I was to have people who stood by me even when I treated them so poorly. They waited for the old me to come back around, and when I finally did, they welcomed me back as if nothing had ever happened.

Being so wrapped up in something and someone that is so bad for you absolutely sucks. But I really believe it’s more painful for the people who love and care about you to have to watch it happen than it is for you to actually experience it.

So, I lost a lot of good opportunities for someone who I don’t even know anymore. Unfortunately, I have no one else to blame but myself. Did I live to tell the tale? Of course. Do I regret it? More than anything in the world.

Even after we broke up, I still wanted to keep in contact with this person. There is nothing more difficult than pushing yourself to move on, but one day, I took the first step.

I don’t remember exactly what made me end it. I think I just got tired of it all and finally realized that I was in a relationship that was making me feel bad about myself way more than it was making me feel good.

So, I cut the ties completely, and the conversations stopped completely. I’ll admit, the first few days felt weird. However, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and the feelings of “needing” this person faded.

I found my old self again and I remembered what it was like to not be constantly carrying around someone else’s baggage and crap.

My only wish is that I listened to everyone else sooner. I could have saved myself so much stress and heartache and I would have had a lot more fun along the way.

Nowadays, when I see girls in relationships that are all wrong for them or they’re with guys that clearly bring out the worst in them, rather than the best, I can’t judge. I was that girl; I’ve been there.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you may not realize all that is wrong with the relationship until you are completely out of it. And even then, you may still struggle.

You won’t end this relationship and feel good about yourself right away. In fact, you’ll probably feel pretty bad at first. But, I promise, once all that negative weight is lifted off of your shoulders, you’ll feel like a new person again.

It won’t happen over night. In fact, it could take weeks or even months. It took me to two years to see something everyone else was able to see within minutes, but here I am: alive, stronger, and filled with tons of stories.

I may have become a girl I did not like, but I can now proudly say I am a girl that I like a lot. I have dreams and aspirations and I put all of my energy in the right places, rather than the wrong ones.

So I’m not telling you to break up with your boyfriend or end anything right this very minute. I know you probably don’t want to listen to anyone anyway; I sure didn’t. But please, take a minute to remember your own worth, and to really think about all you’re giving up for what you’re getting. This just may change your mind.