To The Girl Who Used To Be My Person

To The Girl Who Used To Be My Person

The keeper of all of my secrets
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There was a time when no matter who had said anything or did anything to hurt me, you were the person I would run to. You were my person. There was nobody else I did anything with, laughed with, gossiped with, or fought with. You and I were there for each other through every boy phase, and every heartbreak, and every sad or happy event in our lives. Boys were mean, so we had to stick together.

I don’t think I can hardly ever remember a day that we weren’t together. You were always at my house or I was always at yours. We spent every waking moment with each other and it was awesome to have a best friend like you. I know there were times when it wasn’t as awesome to have a best friend like me for reasons that only you and I know, but you accepted my flaws and still called me your person.

You went on my family vacations and I went on yours. We went to the lake every weekend and had so much fun. Your family was my family, and my family was yours. You saw every raw moment in my life (good or bad), and I saw every raw moment in your life. You knew every secret of mine that I could ever tell, and you were always my shoulder to cry on. There was never a moment that you didn't make me laugh.

I never will forget the times that we did things that made perfect sense at the time, but looking back now I think, “what the heck were we thinking”. You know the times I’m talking about; I don’t even have to say them. We were like the modern day Bonnie and Clyde.

It makes me really sad sometimes. I hear our best friend anthem, or I hear a Taylor Swift song and I just get sad, because it brings back memories of us screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs. I had such a great friend in you and for whatever reason, it's just not like that anymore. I mean, we don’t hate each other now, but we aren’t as close as we used to be… we both know that. You just got busy with your life and I got busy with mine.

Sometimes I see you and it’s just like we never skipped a beat. We can pick right back up where we left off and it’s perfect and it works. But sometimes, it’s just super weird. Not because I don’t like you or because you don’t like me, but because it’s just not the same. It’s not the same because we aren’t the same. It makes me so sad because I wish I had my best friend back. And now that I look at it, our best friend breakup was way worse than any legit relationship breakup I have ever had. But I just look at the blessing of having someone like you as a best friend for the 6+ years that I did.

I’m so thankful for the memories that I do have with you, Moo. I will always love you just like my sister. And I will always remember the times we had together. And I hope one day if we ever have daughters, that they can be best friends.

I know we’ve had our ups and downs. But to me, the ups will always be way more relevant and memorable than the downs ever will be. I hope one day maybe we can rekindle that connection we once had, but if not… just know I will always be your friend. And anytime you need me I’m always a phone call away. Thank you for being my person for the time that you were. And thank you for showing me what it was like to value a friendship and to understand how to be true a friend.

Cover Image Credit: Tayla Arnold

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.

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Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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