To the girl who lost her father at a young age,
It was hard. It still is hard. It definitely will never be easy. One thing is for sure though, because of it, you are stronger. I lost my father to Emphysema when I was in the fifth grade. Although I do not remember every distinct detail, I do remember the way I felt when I got the news. I can honestly say no ten year old should ever have to experience that. I still feel grief everyday as I'm sure you do too. I have also learned and grown in innumerable ways from this tragedy.
It is okay to cry. As much as you want to be strong all the time - especially for your mom who is hurting in ways you cannot imagine - it is okay to cry. Holding it all in is only going to hurt you. It took me a while to realize this, but once I came to that realization, I began to let go of the pain and hold on to the happiness I felt when my father was alive.
You are stronger than you think. You may feel weak, but you are far from that. Just because it is hard to keep a smile on your face all the time does not mean you are weak. By keeping your chin up and making it through the day, you are strong. Initially, you will feel broken down - probably the weakest you've ever felt - but day by day this feeling fades and will be replaced with strength and the confidence to face the new day head on.
Time is precious. This is an obvious one. You thought you had all the time in the world to spend with your dad, I did too. After all, isn't that how its supposed to be? Life isn't fair and we learned this at an early age. But with this cruel reality we also learned the importance of cherishing the time we have with the ones we love. I wish I knew how limited my time with my father was, maybe then I would have stopped to take it all in. Now we know to appreciate the company of others and stopping to smell the roses is always necessary.
I wish he was still here. I'm sure you do too. Like me, you probably worry who will walk you down the aisle on your big day, who will be there to scare away all your boyfriends, and most importantly who will be there to say yes when mom says no. Not a day goes by where you don't think of him. But I can assure you one thing, he loves you with his whole heart. The short time you had with him may have not been enough for you, but if he could see you today, he would be so proud of the incredible person you have become. Live every day knowing that.
