To the girl who chooses her boyfriend over her friends,

Hey girl, I’ve been there.

I think at some point, everyone has. It is all so easy to get so caught up in your new relationships and let your friends stay on the back burner. It is even easier to NOT notice that your friendships are slipping away from you when you are so focused on one person, as opposed to your whole village. I’m not here to judge you, nor am I here to tell you how to live your life, however I will tell you what I’ve learned from dropping my friends for the sake of a boy.

In my last relationship, I let a boy eclipse everything, and I mean everything, in my life. My friendships suffered drastically, yet I still never realized I was doing anything wrong. When you’re happy with someone I know what it’s like to want to spend every waking minute with them. Especially when it’s a new relationship, it’s as if you just can't get enough. Don’t get me wrong- this isn’t necessarily a bad thing on it’s own. Humans need relationships to thrive, and a significant other is such an asset throughout this crazy life.

The problem comes when they become all you have.

For me, it happened slowly. I started off keeping that balance where my friends were just as much a priority as my boyfriend. I didn’t even notice the shift, letting them slip away from me was ever so subtle. I had not even noticed that I had lost the people closest to me because I was so blinded by the love and companionship I had right in front of me. For awhile, it was fine. Even as it became clear to me, I didn’t fully see the problem. If you’re happy with someone, nothing else matters right?

Wrong.

Relationships in our college years typically don’t last. I’m not talking about high school sweethearts or the lucky ones who find the loves of their lives so young. I’m talking about the majority, where we don’t fully know what we want and the relationship just can’t be sustained for whatever reason. When that relationship ceases, where do you go? If you’ve burned bridges and shown your friends they aren’t a priority anymore, who are you going to go to when you lose the one person you had left? I got lucky. My friends decided they loved me too much to let my stupid mistake ruin us for good. Not everyone gets as lucky as I did.

I’m not telling you that your boyfriend shouldn’t be important or a priority to you. He should be and that’s great you want to spend so much time with him. However, don’t forget your friends. They’re the ones that will always be there. He might not be the one waiting at the end of the aisle for you one day, but they will be the girls by your side whenever you find the man that will be. Tell your friends you love them, take them out for coffee, and don’t forget that you need them just as much as you need him.

Sincerely,