Scaling the three floors of Centennial Hall requires more time and energy than expected, as most UW-L students would agree. On Tuesdays and Thursdays my friend Katie and I make the trek together across campus, discussing life, dreams, and the future (oh, and cute boys). We usually hit the stairs of Centennial Hall during the rush between classes and our conversation dwindles as we try to stay direct to our path as the crowd passes. However, one particular evening I navigated back to Centennial Hall unaccompanied. I had no goal other than to make it to my desired destination, but as I ascended the staircase, I overheard the girl ahead of me discussing her “complex situation” with her acquaintance. Her words struck me in a way never felt before and have left me pondering exactly what I would say to her if I could replay the situation.
The funny thing is, I do not know this girl. I do not know her situation, her name, or even what her face looks like. But I am aware of her need to hear that she will be all right. Like her, you might be overwhelmed in this obstacle course called life. You might be weighed down and struggling with the same things. Since arriving at college, I understand this mindset and feeling.
Here I am, wishing I could replay the situation, pull her aside, and tell her what I thought. I wish I could embrace her in a hug and put a smile on her face. I wish I could go back in time and reassure her that she will make it through. But I can’t.
So here’s to me, you, and the girl on the staircase:
To you, the girl with confusion, doubt, and an overabundance of feelings,
This is a time of your life with the unexpected. You might feel bogged down with the five midterm exams in three days, the desire to socialize, need to work out at the rec, requirement to eat a decent meal, and somehow still find time to have a little freedom and maintain sanity.
Since arriving at college, I have felt these feelings and the personal tug and battle to determine which decisions and actions I will fulfill each and every day. I did not expect it to be such a difficult task. There are countless organizations, clubs, and programs to become involved with. There are people I have connected with and I desire to invest time into our relationships. There is the desire to work out, the need to clean and do laundry, and the requirement to fulfill class duties and stay on top of your studies. Oh, and somehow I have to figure out how to live on my own, manage a part-time job, and make decisions which will impact the rest of my life simultaneously.
So yes, I understand. My situation may not have reached the same capacity as yours, but I can connect with what you are going through.
You may be confused why I am writing you now, but I needed to tell you that you will be okay. You are enough. The decisions you make will be the right ones. You probably have a little doubt, or more, about these truths. But I am going to do my best to reassure you.
A few things I think you might need to know:
1. You are perfectly imperfect.
That’s right. Imperfect. You are. So am I.
The world does a fabulous job of telling us all the things we do not have. We do not have the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect relationship, the perfect personality, the perfect friendships. Heck, we can’t even have the right shape of eyebrows these days.
But you need to learn to accept the fact that you will never have all these things. And you don’t need to. It is unattainable. It is like chasing after something that will never come true. And that is okay.
If you think about climbing these stairs in Centennial Hall, it probably wears you out. Chasing this secular perfection does the same thing. Except the stairs never end. You can try to climb and climb and climb to the top. The top will never come. There is always going to be “the next best thing.” You will think you have to climb another floor to reach that. You don’t.
Where you are on that staircase is exactly where you need to be. It is the perfect location. It is the perfect place. There is no need to climb any higher. Find beauty in what you have. Find beauty in the experiences you are able to have from this level. Find beauty in knowing that each and every need you have has already been fulfilled.
2. You are beautiful.
On a recent outing, my friends and I were walking along Riverside Park discussing life and the crazy obstacles it throws us. We came across a beautiful fountain. It was surrounded with perfect lighting, beautiful scenery, and a fine restaurant. We sat there for a while and just gazed at the beauty of this fountain.
My complex mind and thoughts made me look closer and think differently about this fountain. If you pay attention to the fine details, you would probably notice that a couple of the spouts were not working. More water was released on the left side. There were marks and water stains which adorned the edges. There was a minor gouge which probably formed from a previous experience. From the fountain’s perspective, it probably saw flaws in the presence it left. But to me and you, it is perfect. It is beautiful.
You are the same way. You might have bumps and you might have bruises. But through that, both internally and externally, you are beautiful.
You have the smile which can light up the room. Your laugh is the most beautiful sound. Your heart radiates your love for others. Your passion for your interests inspires others more than you could ever know. Your little quirks, your corny jokes, your willingness to be yourself. It is beautiful. You are beautiful.
3. You’re going to be okay.
You might not have fulfilled your full potential on the past exam. You could have skipped your last work out session and taken a nap instead (it happens). You might not have crossed off each thing needed to be accomplished for the day. You could have failed at communicating with someone you truly care about it.
It might be raining down difficulties, doubts and confusion, or it could be pouring. But tomorrow will be another day and the sun will be shining. But if it isn’t, just pull out your umbrella and remember that even if you are stuck under the weather, you have so many positives in life (in this case, an umbrella to block the rain) and can still reach your desired location.
4. God knows what He is doing.
There are countless times we try to control our own situations. But that leads to unresolved, complex situations mixed with apprehension and frustration.
Take a step back and know that even if you do not know what is going on, even if you do not know where life is going to lead you, God does. And that is what matters.
Find reassurance in knowing that God already has the kinks and details worked out. There is no need to worry. No need to rush. In His timing, all things will be made well.
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
To you, the girl on the staircase, I am sorry I did not stop you that day. But I hope, somehow, you receive this letter. And if you do, know that I am praying and rooting for you.
With love,
Jena
