The worst kind of relationships are toxic relationships.
Soon after the honeymoon phase of relationship end, the true colors of your significant other comes out. You get to see how much that cute little thing you do that he used to love so much actually irritates him and how much he actually can't stand it. Sometimes guys don't understand that it's easier to discuss those quirks or talk about what he excepts out of the relationship. Instead, they start to degrade you and tell you that you have to stop because he doesn't like it and no one else would love you because you do it.
At this point in the relationship you're comfortable together it's been months and maybe even years into the relationship and you can't imagine life without him. Y'all have plans together, your Pinterest wedding board is something you think can become a reality with this guy.
Yet, your fairy tale has been crashing down right in front of you and you didn't even notice because you've been blinded by "love". You hope that if you keep doing "good enough" he'll still want you and won't threaten to leave you ever time you do something he doesn't like. It becomes a daily battle of walking on pins and needles to make him happy and do things how he wants them done and what he wants you to do. Then one of the worse things can happen, he'll start to see someone else and you accept it. You'll protest but you never actually leave because he reminds you every day no one else will love you and you've started to believe this lie. You can't fathom losing him or being alone forever, so you study her, do everything you can to be exactly like her or better. When he sees you starting to get strong enough to leave he'll tell you how much he loves you and how beautiful you are and lie that he's gonna stop seeing her, and just like that you are back in his game because you've been longing for his affection.
You've lost who you are in him and that bright-eyed, independent, bubbly girl hasn't been seen. Your friends are few and far between because they've grown tired of you continuously going back to him when they've tried to help you so much, you've cried on their shoulder while they'll shake their head and try to remind you that you deserve so much better and that they miss the old you and that's who they became friends with and wish you could open your eyes and see how bad he treats you. But you've become so lost that you don't know the world without him, he's brainwashed you into thinking that you are nowhere near as beautiful as you really are, that you aren't smart enough to follow your dreams, and especially that no will ever love you except for him.
I'm here to tell you that you are so much better than that, you are gorgeous and you don't need to fit his model of his dream girl because you are someone else's exact dream girl. You are smart enough to accomplish anything you want in life, and to be selfish with your happiness and do what means the most to you. I promise you no matter how many times you've been told you aren't good enough or that no one else will love you, someone will and you'll realize what love truly means. Once you finally say you've had enough it'll be hard to not to go back but it will be so so worth it in the long run.
Take time to focus on yourself and do not try to bounce right back into a relationship. Truly take time to remind who you are and what you love about yourself, your friends will come back and support you and help you heal. My mom told me over and over that time is the best healer and I couldn't agree more. Delete him from social media, not seeing him is the best way to forget about him, delete the text, voicemails, pictures, everything. Get fid of every evidence of the toxic relationship. It's hard but it will help so much. You're better now, your on the road to healing. You'll start to love yourself again and become even better than who you used to be because you learn so much from this and know exactly what you want from love and you'll never put up with being treated like that again.
One day you will find your Prince Charming and he will be everything you've ever wanted. You may fight but don't get scared and run away, fighting is normal, in best cases it make the relationship stronger and you move forward as a better couple. He'll never ask you to change who you are because he loves you for who you are. The beautiful, self-loving, happy go lucky girl. You must love yourself before you can love someone else.
Go. Free yourself. I promise it's worth it.