To The Girl Chasing After The Wrong Guy

To The Girl Chasing After The Wrong Guy

don't waste your time

Ladies, we've all been there. The one guy who only texts you when it's convenient for him. The one guy who you see at a frat party and he comes right over to you after dropping you for months. The one that always has an excuse for whatever he's done. The one who is an absolute smooth talker with no action to back it up. Run away from him like he's the plague, because let's be honest, he pretty much is.

You see, guys like this just want to live their life. It's something that I'm learning. They all have the same interests and the same ideas, but yet they're still so difficult. They want to experience what it's like to be young, wild and free. They want to be selfish and they want to have someone there, but not someone they have to be committed to 100%. Don't feel bad if you're the one they won't commit to, it's not anything you've done.

To the girl chasing these types of guys, don't. I know it's hard. For whatever weird reason, humans want what they can't have, they enjoy a chase. But girls, do not put yourself through that heartache. Don't chase the guy because you think he's a missing piece. Because I'm here to tell you he's not. He's just something to fill the void of whatever it is you know deep down you're missing. And it's not going to end well for you.

Maybe you feel like you can change him from whatever it is he is doing; Don't think that way. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change a guy who does not want to be changed. You can gripe at him, tell him everything you're wanting, beg and plead and cry... it's not going to work. A guy will change when he is ready to, and sadly sometimes they are never ready to.

Maybe you feel as though he is the right person in the wrong time. Don't waste your time hoping for this, move on with your life and maybe years down the road when you both have matured and did some soul searching you can find your way back. But like I said, don't wait around for that to happen.

If you do decide to chase this guy time and time again, don't be blinded. There are many signs that show you that he's not going to invest, that he's not going to change, or that he just doesn't really want to be with you as bad as you do him. Don't settle for this. Don't let your heart try to trick your mind. Trust your gut.

Don't chase the one who always makes up excuses for his bad behavior. Don't chase the one who has sweet words, but no action. Especially don't chase the one who makes you beg and plead for his attention only to deny you while you spend your night crying and wondering what you did wrong. Chase yourself, ladies. Invest in yourself.

Find out these things: what it is you want in a significant other. Find out what you like to do, what you don't like to do. Find people who you can trust and have fun with. Find your inner strength, your morals, your beliefs. Find what your wants are and what your needs are. Allow yourself to be comfortable being alone and not depending on someone else for your happiness. Find out who you are. Because that is what life is really about.

Don't waste your whole life by chasing after a guy who more than likely isn't worth it, and not finding yourself. The right guy will come later, and he will chase you, if you invest in yourself first. So for now, chase yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want to do. Try and find your purpose and run with it. Live life and enjoy yourself.

Popular Right Now

The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.


Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The 7 Stages Of A Breakup, As Told By Netflix's 'Someone Great'

Alexa play "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo, and max volume, please.


We all know how it feels to get your heart broken by a guy. Whether it be in your teens or in your 30s, everyone experiences it, or already has. After watching the movie “Someone Great" on Netflix, it hit me deep in my feels. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. It made me realize all of the stages of going through a rough breakup, and I could not relate to a movie more.

1. When you first breakup and will cry about it to just about anyone

We all know that we do this almost immediately after a break-up. You are just trying to get out of the house so you go to the store, something reminds you of our ex, and next thing you know, you're talking the stranger's ear off in the grocery store for the next 2 hours.

2. When your friends call you and you say you're fine but you really haven't moved from your couch in two days and all you have done is eat two gallons of ice cream and watch "The Notebook" on repeat

"Just come do something with us, or let us come there."

"Nah, I'm okay, I actually have a super busy day today."

Yeah, if you mean busy as in binge-watching every episode of "Pretty Little Liars," then yeah, count me out of all plans so I can rewatch every episode for the next 3 weeks. We all know that feeling of not wanting to move out of bed for as long as you can after a break-up.

3. When that ONE song comes on at the mall, and you suddenly realize it was "your" song

This one hits differently. You're literally just minding your own business, trying to treat yourself to a little bit of a wardrobe change because of how sad you have been all week and BAM, it hits you like a train. Next thing you know you're crying in the dressing room of Forever 21 wondering where it all went wrong.

4. Finally caving in and hanging with your friends, realizing that this is what you needed all along

You never want to leave your bed after a breakup, you seem to cancel or bail out on every plan you try to make, then finally, after you have run out of tears, you actually follow through with a girl's night, and then you suddenly realize that all along, just time spent with the gals is what you needed. Trust me, been there, done that. In most cases, a dance party is also well needed.

5. The morning after your girl’s night, you realize that having these gals is better than the boy 

Having your girls there for you in such a tough time actually helps so much. It helps save the tears, the constant replaying of memories in your head, and saves you the time you could be wasting if you're sinking into a deep sadness over something so dumb. That support system is vital for post-breakup, and even I know that.

6. You let him go one last time

Whether it be writing a letter, throwing away all your old memories with him, or by finally getting all your clothes back from his place that have piled up over the past few months or years. It is a truly bittersweet feeling and might even hurt a little, but it's time. You're going to thrive without him.

7. You truly know how much better you’re doing without him

You have reached the point of no return. You’re finally thriving without him. You’re never going back, and you know how much potential your life has and how much better you are without him. Your heart is whole again.

Related Content

Facebook Comments