A thank you letter to the friends who love me when I don't love myself.
I was hurt worse than I can describe by a man who I thought loved me with all of himself. He didn't. Losing someone I loved more than myself, made me stop believing in myself. It made me lose myself, it made me believe I wasn't good enough. I lost myself and unfortunately a little over two years later I haven't found myself still. But thankfully I have friends who have loved me every step of the way.
When I lost myself because I lost him, I had so many friends. It came to show that my "friends" wouldn't stay. Through moving 5 1/2 hours away I lost so many friends, so many connections and so many people who I thought were going to stay. Even in the darkest of times, my true friendships showed. I realized the people who I had trusted the most wouldn't stay, but the people I trust now have changed me for the better. My best friends, are the girls I know I'll have my by side at my wedding, and be there to help me through my brightest and darkest. The friends I have made through LaGrange College are the different type of friends that will always be by my side. My "fam" has never let me down, they love me for me and don't ever let me go through the dark alone.
I've lost myself, I still don't think I'm anywhere close to finding myself. The only through getting lost is knowing I'm not lost alone. I know one day I'll find myself, but thankfully I won't find myself alone. I'll have my friends. I'll have the them by my side when I finally become good. The only thing better than having these people through my dark times. Is having them finally able to be there when I find myself and be who I am. I say thank you to these friends who have helped me the whole journey in me finding myself. I say thank you to friends who have been here from the start.
Truly I say thank you to the man who made me lose myself, because clearly I wasn't myself to begin with. I promise myself that since the day you left me because I wasn't enough that I would be enough for myself. I would never let someone else determine my happiness, but I was wrong because my friends did that. My friends have made me happy, my friends have determined me to be happy. My friends have pushed me to a better a person than before to be a better person than I was with him. They have pushed me to be a better me, to be better than I ever thought I could be. I may not be the me I want to be, or the me they expect me to be, but they support me. They love me for me for being the lost mess I am.
