In more than one occurrence in my nearly 22 years on this planet, I have experienced hearing malicious rumors about me, and later finding out the person who started them was a person I considered a good friend. It happened when I was a little girl, it happened when I was in high school, and it happened in college. Girl and guy friends alike, this has happened to me multiple times.
How did I know that these friends were the ones who started these rumors? Despite being told that it was them (sometimes them even admitting it themselves), it occurred to me that they were one of the few people who knew something was so personal to me, so personal that they knew it would destroy me if they started a rumor about it. Things I consider sacred, my values, my friends, my FAMILY; the most important things in my life were not immune to rumors. The worst part of betrayal is that it doesn’t come from enemies, and that could not be more true in these situations.
I just have once question for all of these so-called friends.
What did I do to deserve this?
I know I’m not perfect, I’m far from it, and I’ll be the first person to admit it. I know I’m not the perfect friend, but one thing is for sure, I AM LOYAL. I love my friends and would never do anything to betray them. To these friends who have betrayed me, know that I loved you, I truly did, and would have never done anything to intentionally hurt you. And when you went behind my back and betrayed me, it was clear to me that my friendship did not mean nearly as much to you as yours did to me. To make it even better, remember the friend or group of people you told me to stay away from because they were a bad influence? Well, guess who picked me up when you broke me down; they did, my true friends.
In the end, I want to thank you for showing me this, even though you did it in a cruel way, because now I know I don’t deserve someone like you in my life, and you sure as hell don’t deserve someone like me.
And for the pain these friends have caused, some of it will never go away, and for good reason. I am stronger because of it, I am more cautious, and I know who my true friends are.
I have a final message for those who have betrayed me. I would say it myself, but my girl Taylor Swift explains it well.
If you love like that, blood runs cold.
