Hey,

It's me. Do you remember all the times we hung out and created memories? Because I do. Somewhere along the way, you left my life. For a long time, I struggled to be okay with it. One minute we were super close, and the next we couldn't be further apart. Why did you leave? What went wrong? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? Did I vent to you too much? If we met even weeks later, would we still be friends now? Were we ever meant to stay friends forever? Should I have fought harder for our friendship? When did you give up? When you said you loved me, did you mean it? When you said you cared about me, did you mean it? Or was it all just words?

Those questions plagued my mind for a long time. I wracked my brain, wondering what went wrong. I don't do well with change, and you knew that. You knew I was going through a lot and you didn't even have the nerve to tell me that you didn't want to hang out anymore. You just stopped responding to my texts. You just smiled at me when we passed by each other as if we meant nothing to each other. Was I just a temporary friend until you found your friend group? Did I ever mean anything to you? Did our friendship mean anything to you?

For a long time I waited, hoping you'd come back. I didn't want to believe our friendship was just over. I guess the saying is true that some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Some are just passing through to teach us a lesson. While the time we spent together was short-lived, you changed me. You taught me a lesson; many lessons, in fact. It took losing you to realize that staying is a choice and I can't force you to stay.

When you left, I reevaluated all of my relationships. I realized who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. I learned who is fake, who is real, and who would risk it all for me. It hurt when I realized that you wouldn't risk it all for me. You were the one who didn't always relate to me, but you were there anyway. You were the one who never judged me for needing to vent or rant about anything and everything. At least, I thought you were.

I realize now that you never intended to stay. My true friends were there when it poured and when it was sunny. I was forced to move on without you, hoping you'd come back. But you never did. I realize now if you weren't willing to make the effort, then good riddance. I realize now we won't ever be like B. Davis and P. Sawyer. You changed me, for better or for worse. Who I am today is because of you. I went through a lot of pain, and some of it was because of you.

I never thought I'd be writing this to you. I thought you'd be by my side when we graduated. I never thought I'd feel the way I'm feeling, even writing this. When you left, all I could think about was when P. Sawyer said, "People always leave." And in that moment, in this moment, it feels like she is right. You left when everyone else was, and that damage is still being fixed. You see, I trusted you. You were there for me. I thought we could tell each other everything. But instead, I was left feeling more alone than I had ever been. Was P. Sawyer right? Do people always leave?

When you left, I was devastated. But now, I'm much stronger. The people who want to be in my life stay. They don't leave when it gets tough. I am so thankful that I met you and that you taught me these hard lessons. I needed to learn them at some point; I just didn't expect it to be now. It still hurts seeing you sometimes, but I put on a smile and keep walking. Sometimes you gotta fake it 'til you make it. I'll keep smiling every time we cross paths until one day seeing you won't hurt.

I wish you the best of luck with everything. Just know if you ever need anything, I'll probably be stupid enough to be there, because I care. You matter to me, even though I don't matter to you.