Dear Old Friend,
Wow, I never thought I would be saying those words. It's been a while since either of us have said anything to the other. When I look back on the eight years that we were nearly inseparable, it makes me wonder how you could so quickly decide that we weren't friends anymore. All of the birthday parties, shopping trips, horribly matching outfits and late-night talks leave me wondering where everything went wrong.
Even five years later, I still remember the exact moment when you told me we weren't friends anymore. It seemed like a sick joke, but it wasn't a joke. For another two years after you decided we weren't friends you were civil because we were on the same teams, but we weren't friends anymore. I was in denial for a while, thinking that it was just a phase you were going through. I had seen you go through so many phases, but this wasn't a phase. We went from spending full weekends together and acting like sisters to just coexisting. From finishing each other's sentences to barely saying full sentences to one another. I felt the pain of watching someone I loved walk away before my first heartbreak.
I still don't know what happened, but I'm strangely thankful for what you did. I learned at a young age that nothing is permanent. That no matter how hard you try, you can't make anyone stay. Sometimes people leave and you'll never know the real reason why. You taught me that I can't rely on everyone and that I needed to be more independent. Thanks to you, I started to be more comfortable with being alone. I slowly stopped needing people around all the time. I started to realize at a young age who I wanted to be.
I'm not going to lie and say that it was easy for me when you walked out of my life, but it was something that needed to happen in order for me to grow. I learned how to accept the changes that I'm not ready for because they're coming whether I like it or not. Over the years you have turned into someone that I don't recognize. It's been painful for me to see you change so much but I know that you needed to grow into who you are not just like I did.
There are still days that I miss your friendship and the great memories that were made but I know that we needed to stop being friends in order to grow as individuals. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for hurting me like you did. You taught me that sometimes I'll have to lose the people that mean the most to me in order to find the best part of myself.
No matter what I'm always hoping for the best for you.
Love,
The Friend You Left Behind
