I wake up and fight the urge to text you about the crazy dream I had the night before or send you that cute picture I know you would laugh at. I wake up and try to force myself not to think about how you are or what you are doing. I wake up and I have to remind myself you are no longer my person, you are no longer my “go to”.
I never thought I would be writing something like this to you. In my mind our friendship was always going to be endless, I always thought you would be there with that same goofy smile on your face making fun of me for something silly I said or did. I never questioned the idea that you would always be around because I thought you always would, until now.
If there is one thing I know it is that everything happens for a reason. I don’t regret those days we spent driving around just listening to music. I don’t want to forget the late night conversations where we told each other everything without hesitation. I don’t want to pretend all the laughter and memories we made never existed at all. Our friendship meant the world to me at one point and just because you are no longer the same person and friend I once loved, doesn’t mean I want to forget about what we once were.
I hate when people ask me how you are and I genuinely don’t know how to answer. It makes me sad to think about how our conversations switched from talking about nothing for hours to awkward small talk. I sometimes find myself wondering if there was something more I could have done to prevent us from becoming the familiar strangers we are now but I know I would have just been denying the inevitable. People change, it is a fact of life and although I am sad to see our friendship end I am lucky to have had you in my life for as long as I did. I want you to know how proud I am to have once had you as a friend. I will still be happy for you in all of your accomplishments and I will still be sad for you in all of your hard times.
I may text someone else about my crazy dream or send them that adorable picture but just know that I will always miss you and I will always be here for you. Thank you for the years of friendship and for the memories that I know will last a lifetime.
I hope to be seeing you,
Your Former Best Friend