In the cover photo of this article, it looks like a father and daughter that are happy, have a good relationship, and nothing is wrong. But pictures can lie just as easy as people do. I try every day to forgive everything you did to me, to forget all the important milestones you missed. And normally I can just act like it never happened, but sometimes it hurts like hell. Sometimes I cry because all I wanted was my father to care and love me, like everyone else's father does. Two years ago I officially cut you out of my life, and in those two years there has been many different emotions toward you. 90% of the time I hate you and don't even want to talk about you, and the other 10% is I wish things were different, I wish you would have been there. So this one is for you.

Dear John,

You lived in the same house as me for 17 years, and 9 1/2 months. During my senior year my mother asked you to leave because she finally realized that things would be much easier without you. You waited until my 18th birthday to file for a divorce, instead of saying happy birthday. During the divorce you did many of things that were unnecessary and caused the divorce to take longer than needed. With you dragging the divorce on, it made my life more difficult. But when haven't you made my life difficult? You had over 17 years to love and care for me, and you chose not to. Instead of doing things most fathers do, you would sleep or play your stupid computer game.

I was in cheerleading my entire life, and I only remember you coming to two things that my mother forced you to go to. What kind of father does that? I was so passionate about cheerleading, and you never showed up to support me. I had 17 birthdays while you lived with us, and I can only remember you coming to one of them. Why? It was my birthday! You missed the homecomings and proms I was able to go to. You rarely met the boys I was dating throughout high school. You never told me you loved me. The only thing you would do for me is help me when I would have car trouble. That's it.

After you left the house, you did come to my graduation, but I could tell you didn't want to be there. Still never got wished happy birthday, or congratulated for going to beauty school that fall. Never told me congratulations for getting accepted to Southern Illinois and receiving a 3.8 GPA my first semester away. Never tried helping me while in beauty school or freshman year at college. And now I don't expect any less from you.

Now being twenty years old and looking back on my life, I wish I wouldn't have wasted so many days crying and wondering why you don't care. I wish I could just completely forget you. I wish I could have had a father in my life that cared, loved, and supported me. A man that would have been there for me. I wanted was to be loved, and since I didn't get it from you, I looked in other places for it.

Now I decided these things within the past few years. When I become married, you will not be invited, nor will you walk me down the isle. When I have kids, you will not see them. When I need help, I will not ask you. I have officially unconnected you from my life. I wish I didn't have to do this, but you had 20 years to try to better our relationship, and never once attempted. Since you could never make an effort to do the things a girl needs her father for, I will make an effort to make sure that you never see the things a father should see his little girl do.

With this being said, I promised myself I will not marry someone like you. I do not want my children growing up wondering why their father didn't want to be in their life. I will make sure my husband is a humble and loving man. Someone that wants to be in my life, make me a better person, and have a wonderful family with me. Because of you I am able to see the type of man I want in my life, the type of man I want to marry.

I know you will probably read this and disagree with some of the things I said, but this is how I felt, and what I have seen. I wish things were different.

From,

Your Oldest Daughter