Do you even know what you did?

When we stared at one another on that cold January night, did you feel guilt? Did you feel badly? Did you feel anything?

As tears streamed down our faces, were you actually sorry? Did you feel a sense of shame for your betrayal?

In the days, weeks, months following our breakup - how could you sleep? My inner dialogue questioned every minute of our five year relationship and kept me up at night. I was restless, I was tired, I was sad and yet, thousands of miles away, you slept like a baby.

Every morning my phone would ding, Good Morning, Beautiful. Did you get a kick out of this? Did you think you were smooth?

The texts would continue, all day, every day. I can't live without you. I need my best friend. Each word tore me apart. Did you know what you were doing?

Each day I sat and wondered why I was answering you, while I was still on this rollercoaster. Why did I have a soft spot for you?

When you came to visit almost two years later, you were laying it on hard. I can't wait to see you. This is going to be the highlight of my year. You showed up to dinner 3 hours late. Why did I wait?

Sitting at the table waiting, I caught your eye as you walked in and I felt sick. Seeing you - actually seeing you in person for the first time since that January on my driveway - it made it real. It reminded me of who you are, and what you did.

I left that dinner and I blocked you. I deleted you on all social media. I started to heal. I started to find myself. I refused to be held down by the weight of you and your drama and toxicity.

You tried to contact me, you wondered what you had done, tried to send messages that would get my attention, but I remained strong.

How did you sleep those nights? I bet they were restless, tiring, and sad.

Did you mind race as you tried to figure out where it all went wrong? Did you feel the shame and the betrayal?

For every, message not delivered that bounced to your phone, did you get a kick out of it? Did you feel smooth?

As I continued to ignore you, why did you keep reaching out? Did you question why you have such a soft spot for me?

I bet it hurt. I bet it was confusing. I bet you wanted to get off the rollercoaster.

I got off the ride - I didn't say bye, I didn't give a warning, I just did it - similar to how you just left me without any consideration.

Karma's a b*tch.