I don't know if you knew this but, one of my favorite TV shows for years, I got into because I saw you were wearing a sweatshirt advertising it one day in choir and watched it hoping I could talk about it with you.

You want to know the funny thing? I became a bigger fan of it than you were.

To be honest, I don't even really think you were a fan of it. I remember you saying that one of your parents did and you just had the sweatshirt for whatever reason.

I'm suspecting now, that maybe you were a little jealous of me. I mean, sure, you had these amazing grades, and you were really smart and had accomplished a lot, but at that stage in life, I had the thing that you lacked: relatability.

It's okay. I totally get how you feel now. In college now, I feel like you probably did. Like, I don't know how I'm going to be relatable again.

I tried to make you feel better.

In middle school, I found out that some people in choir, including you, were thinking of applying for the performing arts program at this magnet school. Of course, I don't think most of them actually did, or maybe their grades weren't high enough to qualify, or whatever. I toyed around with the idea of applying too. High school without you seemed impossible to me then.

In the end, I decided not to apply at all. First of all, I loved music and theater, but they weren't my whole life. And that arts program was designed to groom people so that they'd be all set to apply for musical theater programs at colleges. I wasn't sure if I wanted to decide on that as my major so soon. Besides, that school didn't have a writing or fashion program, both of which areas that I wished to explore.

Also, I didn't want to keep pursuing a lost cause. I suspected there would be lots of girls there, pretty and talented, and I didn't want to compete with them for you. I was exhausted.

The first half of my freshman year of high school, although in my heart I knew that I made the right choice, I still held on to this idea of you.

But one visit to your school after a few months cemented the idea that I made the right decision. You weren't the person for me.

Now I don't even reach out to you on your birthday and I'm okay with that. Because even though you were (or I perceived you as) a big part of my life then, you aren't anymore. And I'm completely fine with that. Because I see now that we weren't meant to be together forever or even at all.