If you have ever been the oldest child and the first to leave for college, you’ll know what I'm about to explain. I am the oldest and the first of my parent’s children to go away to college. I left my 16-year-old brother at home—a brother who, like any sibling, is at times my worst enemy and my best friend.

Maybe it's because I like to control things, or because I am the oldest, but I seemed to do everything we both needed done. If our laundry was overflowing, he knew I was the one to wash it because he could go longer than me wearing the same clothes. I was the one to cave and feed the cat if there was ever a dispute over whose turn it was because he knew I couldn’t stand the cat's constant meowing. I had to start dinner when my parents were going to be home late (I still doubt that he even knows how to defrost chicken). I was the one who paid for his coffee in the morning and only sometimes nagged him to pay me back. When we’d meet new people, I was the one to keep the conversation going and he was content to sit back and let me do the talking, the way things had gone all our lives.

But now he’s alone. He has no one to front him the money for early morning coffee or listen as he goes through his day on the car ride home after school. He is alone at home until my parents come around dinner time. He doesn’t have someone to laugh at our inside jokes or help him annoy our parents. He spent his first birthday, since his birth, without me and will have to go Christmas shopping alone. He even has to do his own laundry.

I knew even before I went away to college that the transition would be rough and I would miss my family. What I failed to realize is that they’d miss me as much, if not more. And we’re not big on admitting our feelings but anyone could see it in the little things; my brother will text during school and tell me something funny that happened in class, my mom will forward more emails than usual that she thinks I’ll like, my dad will be more lenient in what he decides to let me get away with and what he sends me.

Every Sunday I video call my family back home. And every Sunday I think my brother’s day is made. When he tells me something funny, my mom always remarks how happy he seems. Apparently he is becoming surly being the only child at my parent’s immediate attention. But this all goes away when I call and he has someone to understand our inside jokes, someone to repeat ‘what?’ over and over until my dad turns red, someone to elbow repeatedly when he makes a bad pun, someone to air-five when we agree on something but are too far away to actually high-five. I think he really likes Sundays.

And as for every other day of the week, I want to say this to my little brother: I may not express this ever, but I miss you Pat. I miss having someone to tag along on whatever adventure I decide to go on. I miss the passenger in my car who knows that I’m too tired to talk in the morning and that I like to blast music coming home. I miss having someone to consult with when I have to meet new people. I miss someone who understands my love of movie quotes and who doesn’t look at me strangely when I say ‘LITERALLY'. I miss just being around you.

And to all the college students with little siblings, I say this to you: don’t ignore your brother’s text or your sister’s phone call. They have had you in their lives since they were born.

And if you think you miss them just a bit, I can guarantee they miss you more.