To the boys before my boyfriend:
It has been several well-spent months with him. You know, with my boyfriend. I have already built a foundation, a relationship, and a friendship with this man. And it is all because he allowed me to do that, as opposed to you. You may be thinking what you did had no major consequences. Whether it was leading me on, and later bullying me, or choosing your ex-girlfriend over me. Or maybe you just dropped me with no explanation and blocked my number, or told all your friends I wasn't "girlfriend" material. But even now, as I lay in bed at night, I sometimes think of you. Of all of you. I think of how you made me feel. I think about the things that you said, the comments you made about me. I think about the nights I shivered in my mama's arms at 1am, because the tears and whimpers had no way of stopping. I think of how my friends cursed your name under their breath when they saw you around. And I think of the way you made me look like a fool. Because you all did. You played me, lied to me, and bullied me. You made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you. But that's okay. Because I finally found someone who does. I finally found someone who calls me his girlfriend.
I know what you're thinking. I know you're thinking, "why does it matter"? It matters because the things you said, did, and let happen to me still haunt me in my nightmares. Sometimes I wake up next to my boyfriend in the middle of the night, uncontrollably weeping and saying how little value I hold to him, and to everyone. You know what he does though? He holds me. He reminds me of how much value I have in his life, and in my family's life. He expresses to me how much I truly mean to him. And those moments give me the hope I need.
Someday, hopefully soon, I will forget all of your taunting names. I'll forget it all. And it will all be thanks to a man who came into my life, and didn't give up on me. It took years of being mistreated and de-valued by boys like you for me to finally earn the man I truly deserve. So thank you to y'all for making the best thing that's ever happened to me a reality. Thank you for not calling me your girlfriend, so that my boyfriend could hold the privilege of being the first one to do so.
