First off, congratulations! You've snagged one of the most amazing people I know. You should really feel very lucky to be blessed with such a beautiful, strong and phenomenal woman, but here's the deal. I'm here as well, and as their best friend, I vow to always and forever protect them. Whether you're with them for five months or 50 years, I'll always be here, and I will always take her side. She'll tell me things you probably don't want her too, but you'll have to get over it. Because she's my best friend, and I will always be here for her.
1. You will treat her right
End of story. No discussion needed. Seriously, don't even think about stepping a toe out of line. If you do one thing wrong, and you think the wrath will come from her, you're in for a rude awakening. The wrath will come from me. I will not hesitate to egg your house and give you the revenge you so rightfully deserve. Whether I've known her for a few days or for years, I will make sure she is happy, but I will also do my damnedest to make sure she is treated with the respect she deserves.
2. I will stick my nose where it doesn't belong
Oh, you think I don't know about that? Yeah, no I sure do. I probably know more then you think I know, and know more then you want me to know. Hell, I probably know more then she thinks I know. I know about the ex-girlfriend you cheated on, or that one music festival you went to. I've done my fair share of poking around, and, though some think it's creepy or strange, I see it as looking out for my best friend. Because the more I know about you, the more I have to figure out who you really are and what your intentions are. And you best believe if you're intentions aren't in the right place I'll make sure you know where you stand.
3. I'll hear more bad then good
This is my job. To listen to her cry out in frustration because of you. To hold her because something you did upset her. I'll hear about all the bad, but only some of the good. So naturally I'll be skeptical about you, but don't take it the wrong way. You're probably a great guy, and like most great guys, you might make questionable, and even bad decisions. If you do that, I'll be there to pick up the pieces. Every time. I'm not here to talk bad about you or make her hate you. That's not my job. My job is to listen, and to make her feel okay. Whether that's okay enough to move on from you or okay enough to talk to you again, that's completely out of my control.
4. It'll almost be like you're dating me too. Almost
New flash, I'm here too. And I'll always be here. Whether it be because we share a room or we live in the same apartment, I'll be here too. And I'll be your friend, don't worry about that. We'll probably get close and have a sibling-like relationship. I honestly love being close to my best friends' boyfriend, because I think trust is a huge thing. Not only between the two of you, but between you and me. If I don't trust you, I'll never like the relationship, and if I don't like the relationship I can't be supportive. I want to be supportive and I want to be your friend. Please just don't give me a reason to not be your friend.
5. She deserves the world
She deserves nothing less. She deserves your full, undivided attention. She deserves for you to fight for her. She deserves your love and so much more. I need you to give that to her. Because if you don't, I won't let you be with her. You have to give her the world, because she gives her whole heart to everything. She wears her heart on her sleeve and she lets the world know of her love. She's open and kind, and you need to give her something that she can show to the world. Please don't hurt her anymore then the guys before you. And please don't make her regret giving you her all. I promise you, if you hurt her, I'll hurt you.
This isn't meant to scare you. This isn't meant to make me look like I'm crazy. This is to make you aware. To let you know that behind every girlfriend is a band of girls that are willing to stand up for her, to pick up her pieces, and to be her wings when she can't fly on her own. Every girl has another standing behind her, and another behind her, and that line goes on forever. Because no matter how long we've known her, we know that every girl deserves to have a guy who will treat her right, who will stand by her side, stand in front of her and protect her, and will give her his whole world. As her best friend, I will make sure she finds the guy who gives that to her. And if it's not you, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have to pick up the pieces you smashed into the ground and I'm sorry I have to be the reality check for her when she thinks you'll come back. But most importantly, I'm sorry that you will have to deal with me once she's okay again. She may forgive and forget, but I never will. Because my best friend deserves more then that
