To the boy who left me waiting,
I sat with my back to the door on that stool at the corner of the bar and waited. Continuously checking my phone to see the time or maybe it was to see if you had texted. I told the bartender I was expecting someone. I sat there waiting for someone that never showed. I walked away after an hour of waiting for you. An hour of unanswered phone calls and text messages. An hour of my heart sinking into my chest as someone other than you walks through that door. An hour of hoping this was all a dream. You said you loved me, you said I was the one and yet you left me there waiting. For the first time in my life I felt a part of my heart break and yet I am thankful.
The day you stood me up was the day I pulled my head from the clouds. I had been lost in all the words, promises, and excitement of a new relationship. I had always been a cautious person when it came to dating, but with you, I threw caution to the wind. For me to do such was a big step in my life. To allow someone close enough for me to abandon my comfort zone, to expose my vulnerability and to trust in someone the way I trusted you, allowed me a new perspective on love.
However, with that being said, I am most thankful for you teaching me that I am stronger than a broken heart. I walked out of that bar with my head down, but by the end of the day I knew this would not get the best of me. After nothing from you, not even a single word, for 12 hours, I had come to conclusion that I deserved better. I deserved a man, not a boy who doesn't show. I deserved someone who would make good on all his promises, would show me his love more than he told me, who would shield me when I am vulnerable, and someone who I could trust to be there.
When you finally reached out to me and tried to flood me with excuses as to why you never showed, I was angry. I could not understand how someone who claims to love me, would leave me heart broken. I did not need your excuses, I needed you to have shown up. I needed it to have been you who walked through that bar door. I needed to have heard from you in that hour I spent waiting for you. But, more than anything, I needed to find the courage to keep moving forward with my life, and that is all that you gave me.
I, to this day, do not know why you never showed. I may never know and I am fine with that. For you have missed out on someone who would have given you all she had. I will forever be the "best thing you never had," as Beyoncé puts it.
From,
The Girl You Never Deserved
