Every day, the phrase "boys will be boys" is thrown around like the common cold - especially in the public school education system. When I was 12 years old, in 7th grade, I was already having a hard time adjusting as it was. I had a 'friend', we will call him Andrew. So, Andrew and I had a bickering, underlying "crush" type situation, and we would bicker back and forth as though it was our jobs to. I really couldn't stand the boy, but I figured it was probably because I liked him, because that is what I was taught growing up. However, one night, we were telling secrets and he decided to mess with me, while sounding utterly sincere about these lies he was telling me. I was struggling with my sexuality and I don't think he knew that, so he decided to pull the "Sometimes I think I like boys" joke on me. And my little girl brain, wanting desperately to tell someone, jumped at the opportunity to blurt out "REALLY!? I feel the same about girls!"
As my little heart pounded in anticipation of understanding and sympathy, I waited for a text in return. After about 25 minutes of heightened anxiety, I got a text back that I could hear the tone in.
"LOL WHAT!?"
Oh. Crap.
I realized in that moment that I was completely screwed in every possible way known to a 12-year-old. I was going to be banished from the lunch table, I could already tell! Except, it was much, much worse. It started out simple, he would just laugh at me and point in the hallways. I was fine, I could handle that.
About a week later, I got a text from Andrew.
"I know what to do."
"What?"
"I can fix your 'problem'"
"Okay.. how?"
"I am going to rape you, and I am going to make you like men if it is the last thing I do, and you will like it. You don't get an option."
Now, here's the thing. My father is a police officer. I came running into the living room bawling my eyes out, and the protector came out. The next day we entered the Principle's office to tell him that this boy was harassing me and that something needed to be done. That is when the words came out.
"I'm sorry Ms. Andrews, Mr. Andrews, but, boys will be boys!"
I crumbled. This boy was later revealed to be let off because he was a football player.
12. Years. Old. He was let off for being a pre-tween-football-machine at TWELVE! Don't tell me this world isn't screwed up. Don't tell me that rape culture doesn't exist until adulthood. I WAS A CHILD.
Boys will NOT be boys. They need to be taught to respect women, despite their race, age, sexuality, any of it. It isn't fair to get away with it because of a sport, or any reason. Protect your kids, parents. Don't let someone walk around them.
