To the Boy Who Called Me Fat,
I heard you. I heard exactly what you said. Your words stung like a million bee stings. As you were laughing with your friends, I saw exactly who you were pointing at. As you mustered up the courage to come over to me, I was shocked as the words fell off your tongue:
Here. You need this more than I do.
You set your salad down on the cafeteria table where I was sitting. As you walked away, I heard you snicker and whisper the phrase:
"Fat ass."
Just like that, my confidence plummeted. I looked around at the other people sitting near me, unsure if they heard you. I heard you, loud and clear. Underneath my own nose sat my lunch. Mom packed it for me in my favorite bright yellow lunchbox. Inside sat all the food I wanted to eat but now the bitter taste of your words filled my mouth instead. Slowly, I moved to the trash can where your salad really belonged. I opened my own lunch and realized I wasn't hungry anymore. So I sat. I sat through the whole lunch period looking at the wall with your words played over and over in my head.
That same night, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror wondering if I should eat more salads and fewer sweets. At 13, I was worried about gaining weight, which is absolutely ridiculous. I was ashamed of what my body had become. I started to look up diet plans and the quickest way to lose weight. If there was a way for me to speak to my younger self I would. I would tell that younger me that I was beautiful, no matter what the scale said.
High school came around the corner faster than I thought it would. You had left our school, which I was thankful for because I didn't have to be reminded every day of what you thought of me. But still, I hated my body. I was too short, too wide and my stomach was too big. I weighed myself every morning and looked into the mirror wondering if my body would ever look like the girls with the perfect, flat stomachs.
But after all that, I want to say thank you. Thank you for teaching me to never judge someone for their weight or the way they look. You never know what that person has seen or been through and at the end of the day it's none of your business anyway.
I don't blame you for your cruel words because at the end of the day, we were just kids. If you're reading this I just want you to remember that what you say and how you say it can change someone's life. Instead of making a negative impact, work harder to make a positive one.
Love Always,
Cassie
